Pissy Bride Vent -Long!! (sorry!)

Kaye Smith

Sorry you guys - i have to vent to you all because it's about a friend!  I've been pissy the past week, so I probably am overreacting, but.....

One of my friends emailed me to let me know that her and husband would be attending the wedding - and iwanted to make sure that it was okay to bring her sister and a friend.  I've been STRESSED about space......our guest list went up by quite a lot during the past few months, and it looked like we were going to be above the "happy capacity limit" (the comfortable capacity limit - not the true capacity limit).  AND, not to mention, i don't really know her sister and friend .  I told her that i'm sure it would be okay, then told her about the capacity issues and asked her if she could just wait on telling these them until we receive a few more rsvps declining.  

so, i get the actual rsvp back in the mail and it says 2.5 will gladly attend (Friend, friend's husband and friend's sister) - and it's .5 because friend's sister will only attend the ceremony.

I left her a message and let her know that it's fine to bring both sister and friend.  She then emails me and everything is fine, but then she asks if she could wear her "red dress" (it's a red wedding dress that she wasn't able to wear at her wedding because her wedding was postponed and then her husband convinced her not to wear it) to her wedding.  She's not a bridesmaid, and this dress will be way fancier than the bridesmaid dresses.  I just think it's crazy to wear a bright red wedding dress to someone else's wedding, but maybe this is because i'm already in a pissy mood?  Is it weird that she asked to wear it?  Is it bad that i don't want her to wear it?  Are all of these signs that i'm becoming bridezilla? 

jennyann28

That is ridiculous, and no, you are not being a bridezilla!  It seems like everyone has a story about a bat sh!t crazy guest...  How are there so many people like that in this world???

I'm sorry that she's being like that.  I'd tell her that her dress is too formal for your wedding.

Tygirljojo

Umm...wow.  I'm not sure why she would think it's okay to wear that kind of dress?  Maybe she thinks the dress code is fancier than it is?  I would A) Take a DEEP breath then Politely inform her that the dress code for the wedding is xxx and she would be better off saving her red dress for a fancier occassion.  In fact, tell her to demand her husband take her to a nice place for dinner for their anniversary so she can wear the thing!  Then you help her solve the problem of wanting to wear the dress (which I'm sure is nice since she intended it as a wedding dress) thus making you a good friend AND you deter her from wearing it to your wedding.

sarack

She is being rude. Not only asking you if she could invite more people but asking you to wear a red wedding dress. What a jerk. I'd tell her that you'd prefer if she doesn't.. but after the wedding you two can get together and go to dinner and she can wear it.. haha

jennlin

lol, i like sarack's idea. tell her you can both wear fancy dresses and sit around and drink wine

jennuinne

I agree, you're not being a bridezilla, she's being a guestzilla.  : )  Tell her its too fancy for your wedding/dress code. 

elleh08

Umm yeah that is totally not cool! She wanted to wear it to her wedding and be the center of attention, to its probably a "look at me" type of dress and SO not appropriate to wear to someone elses and wierd that she even asked. I would say I would feel better if you didnt because its just fancier than my BM dresses. Good luck!

alyssa324

I agree with pps you are not being bridezilla. I hope I dont have guests like that

mergator

You're not being a bridezilla. It's not cool for her to wear the red dress. You're already compromising more than I would, I wuldn't have let her bring 2 extra people.

mgoss228

Definitely not being a Bridezilla!

I'm surprised that she would even think of committing those two huge wedding faux pas after having planned her own wedding (which I am assuming wasn't that long ago).

BrandyL10

You're sane! Yay! I wouldn't have let her bring those two extra people and I think her wearing that dress is crazy. I think she probably knows the dress code and just wants to show off? Thats the impression I got from your post. If that were the case, dress code explanation might not work.
So I would go with the dinner one or the one from above about how it's fancier than the BM's and thats just weird.
Or, I would tell her no, it's my wedding, and I want to be the center of attention, so F off!
Hope it works out!

kristend72

It makes perfect sense to turn down the extra guests. You're on the edge of happy capacity with just people who actually know you (why would you want to go to the wedding of someone you don't know?). Just tell her that. You made a guest list of people you knew and planned your venue accordingly.

As far as the red dress goes, I would first tell her how fabulous the dress is and that you totally understand that she is just itching for a place to wear it but that your event isn't going to be that formal and that other people aren't going to be wearing the same thing and that you think she would feel more comfortable in something different.

Then, as PPs said, offer another event to wear it at. What about doing a fancy pants bachelorette party? Would it work for that?

darby0422

I think she is being incredibly rude! 

However, even though she asked, it really isn't up to the bride to decide what the guests wear.  I think you can suggest that the wedding isn't quite that fancy and she might be more comfortable in something else, but if she does decide to wear the red dress just remember that she is the one who will look like a tool and it will not reflect on you at all.  Sorry you have to go through this!

dreamwinds

Wow. I wouldn't have let her bring her extra guests, and the fact that she's asking you if it's ok that she wears her dress just shows she knows it's not, but wants to put you in a tough situation. :P Maybe I'm too cynical.

MacPanda

Agree with PPs that the guest is the one that is crazy and will look ridiculous if she shows up in that dress.  Be honest with her and let her know that you don't think it fits the occasion. 

Kaye Smith

Thanks for the advice everyone!  Breathing was important - because i wasn't doing that - at least i wasn't breathing at a normal speed!  I'm just waiting to see what happens.  I should've known weddings will make crazy friends crazier!!!