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Guest List...

I am struggling with finalizing the guest list.

Our venue has a maximum capacity of 80 for an indoor event... and since we're getting married in February, I'm betting we won't be outside at all. So I have a few questions that maybe you ladies can help me answer:

1. Right now I have more than 80 people on the list. Do you think this is dangerous? Or should I stick to no more than 80 invites since that's the capacity (and frankly, I think it's going to be tight with 80 people).

2. If I should keep the list to 80 or less, how do you go about deciding to to invite and who to not invite? Any tips?
Anniversary

Re: Guest List...

  • alyssa324alyssa324 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think your best bet is to invite 80 especially if 80 is tight but no way would i invite more than 90. I know alot say they cant come but there is still a big chance all of them will. But i have no advise on thinning the guest list I stinked at that but they did do it themselves LOL 160 invited 90 coming :)
  • edited December 2011

    I agree with pp no more 90 max.  UNLESS...I might get snarked at for this...you have an A list and B list.  You sent the 80 to A list.  Then as you get people who rsvp no - you send out one from the B list.  This obviously would mean, you wouldn't send the B list a save the date, if you are doing them.  This is what my cousin did for her wedding and it turned out pretty well.  As far as I know - no one knew they were a b-list invite. :)

    If that is not an option - I say, cut people who will understand the most - friends, extended family (second cousins, etc), family you haven't talked to in years etc.  Its hard when they are family but you have to draw a line and stick to it. 

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  • melissa82melissa82 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I think you should stick with 80. If 80 is the max (and tight), it sounds like 60-70 would be more comfortable, and that's probably what you'll get. Who's on the list? I'd start cutting extended family (second cousins, etc.) or any parents' friends that you're not close to, co-workers, friends you haven't talked to in a while.
  • carrieoz_76carrieoz_76 member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Don't invite more than 80.  While most of the time not everyone shows, I don't know how many times I've read on TK that a bride invited more than her max and *shocker* her acceptances exceeded her available space.  Plus, you won't know until the last minute if your group will fit in your venue.  Ugh - that's stress you don't need!

    Generally speaking, the easiest way to trim a guest list is to cut whole groups of people - co-workers, family past the "first" level (aunts, uncles, and cousins yes, but no great-aunts, 2nd cousins, etc.)., kids, people you haven't seen in over 2 yrs, people that you haven't both met, etc.  You can set those rules (sometimes after negotiations with your parents), and break them as you see fit (knowing that each time you break the rule you make the inevitable explanation for the limitations a little harder).
  • edited December 2011
    I would max at 85. I know a lot of people have high acceptance numbers but like Alyssa, mine trimmed themselves nicely. I think I had a total of 116 (including kids) and ended up with a total around 70! However, I wouldn't want to bank on that when you consider the stress you'll incur while you wait for RSVP and what happens if you hit 80? I think 85 is safe as you'll definitely have at least 10 no. More than that and your space becomes more comfortable.

    Agreed, cut categories. From the get go after we got engaged, DH and I agreed, "No work people" and that made it easy to not hurt feelings at the office. Of course, I reneged slightly as I become super good friends with a coworker hired after that, but she ended up being my reception set-up guru.
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  • amandaswamandasw member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It really depends on your guests and only you know that.

    Example A: for our wedding, we invited 250 and got about 170 (which was perfect for our venue).  We were about 95% correct at guessing who would and wouldn't come so we could do that.  This worked because we knew a lot of family that wouldn't make it for sure (ex. DH's dad has like 9 siblings all in Michigan and we knew none of them could afford to come).

    Example B: a friend who got married recently invited 170 because they knew almost everyone could come and they got maybe 3 "no's".  Pretty much ALL their family and friends live here and could make it.

    Most importantly, be realistic.  If it's a "maybe" in your mind, count it as a yes.  Once you've done that, see what the list looks like. 

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for the advice, ladies. I didn't realize it would be this difficult. I feel obligated to invite family that I don't see very often, but frankly, I would be happier to invite a few of my co-workers since I consider them friends.

    I think the biggest thing that makes it tough is that I have to invite spouses even though I don't necessarily know them and they might not even show up.

    I'll just keep fine-tuning the list!
    Anniversary
  • amandaswamandasw member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Another idea a friend of mine had was to imagine who would you see (or want to see) at your 25 year wedding anniversary (grandparents etc are obviously different).  You can't always predict what friendships will last or what people you know now that may turn into better friends, but it's another way of looking at it when you're stuck. 
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