Ethical question

zsazsa-stl

Is it wrong to ask someone to help you if it takes them 4 hours to save you less than 1?

**O-Face**

It's not wrong to ask, but wrong to expect.

DG1

Also "it depends."  If I know that person has nothing better to do (e.g., unemployed, living at home, no kids, etc.), I wouldn't feel as badly about asking.

GBCK

this is a 'maybe' question.
A peer?  who knows the cost/benefit?  maybe.

I often make my student employees do things like this...it's good economics though.

zsazsa-stl

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ethical-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:2a669808-cda2-4f61-93f1-ff14dd734564Post:66e29b57-8d09-4cfd-bd01-276047005765">Re: Ethical question</a>:
[QUOTE]Also "it depends."  If I know that person has nothing better to do (e.g., unemployed, living at home, no kids, etc.), I wouldn't feel as badly about asking.
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]

This is exactly why I keep getting dumped on.  Work at home = no real job. No kids = life is pointless anyway.

Your kids and grandkids are not my responsiblity.  My time is not more valuable that yours just because I don't have them.  You don't get to choose how I spend my time.

MinM

Also, no kids = you and your H aren't a REAL family. I love that one.

**O-Face**

OH MIN, I would be pissed if someone ever said that to me.  RED RAGE.

MinM

They don't say, but that is how you are treated. Like, at TG, we took the big family photo and then they started taking pictiures off all the couples with kids. No on asked H and me to stand for pics. We weren't considered a 'family.'

**O-Face**

That's is fcked up in epic proportions.  Seriously.  >:(  I would hate that.

MinM

It made me cry.

MinM

Well, Zilla. If you don't have kids how on earth could you possibly have an interesting life or better things to do than someone else's work so they can spend time with their kids? ADURRR!

needle&thread

Hi everyone--

I have been through that...'you're not married and don't have any kids'...thing a long time ago.  Now its...'you're divorced (never reallly had a real husband like mine) and you only have one kid'...syndrome.  Along with...'you're getting married (not gonna last) again and don't seriously dare have any new babies as old as you are'...thing.

But everyone knows that they can count on me in a pinch...like when their 'perfect' husbands whoop their tail...I go and get the kids and take them to the movies.  Or when your 'still perfect' husband puts them and their kids out in the snow on the highway in 10 degree weather...you know I will come and get you. 

Its as if their lives are more important than yours. They resent the freedom and the lifestyle that you created, so they show it by trying to treat you as if something is wrong with the life they envy.  Now I barely answer the phone for certain ones.

You have to show them, better than you can tell them...

VarunaTT

Oh, this happens to DH and I know.  Since we haven't had children, been married THIS LONG and show no signs of being interested in them, there must be SOMETHING WRONG...WHY DON'T YOU WANT A FAMILY.  Um, I have one, jacktards.  It's me and him....and the 2 dogs and 2 cats.  And on Mother's/Father's Day?  I mean, I'm totally an elitist and think I'm supa dupa special....but I HAVE a mother and I HAVE a father, so I might want to spend some time with them.  They're as special as you...they had kids too!

DG1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_ethical-question?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2a669808-cda2-4f61-93f1-ff14dd734564Post:5ca573f4-d27b-4316-8065-122ba7eda0f7">Re: Ethical question</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ethical question : This is exactly why I keep getting dumped on.  Work at home = no real job. No kids = life is pointless anyway. Your kids and grandkids are not my responsiblity.  My time is not more valuable that yours just because I don't have them.  You don't get to choose how I spend my time.
Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]

I was actually thinking more about my brother, who has zero time commitments of any kind. 

and you only get dumped on if you let people dump on you.  If someone asks you for a 4-hour favor, you are free to say no. And if the asker gets peeved, you are free to tell them to fck off.