We were pretty much set to have our wedding at a gorgeous ranch. My fiance is a web designer and he was going to develop the ranches website as a trade for the venue. But the owners of the ranch are not actually his clients. They go through a designer that he works with. Well, the designer messed up big time and the long and short of it is that the venue fell through. Our wedding date is in three months and we have no venue. And no money to pay for one, since we thought it would not cost anything out of pocket.
Even if we could pay for a venue, they are all booked. We can't afford catering, so we need a place that will let us bring in our own food. Right now our only option looks like the local senior center. Its pretty ugly and worn down, but it is the only thing avaliable, in our price range, and with a kitchen for us to prepare food. Every time I think about it I just feel like crying. I cannot think of a more unromantic place to get married. I am so dissapointed. I think it would have been easier to handle having a crappy venue from the get go, but to go from a dream wedding venue to the most undesirable one possible is really hard to accept.
Our venue was going to be the only really nice thing about our wedding. We can't afford catering, flowers, live music, or even a cake. We were going to make the food, arrange boquets of fake flowers, plan our own playlist, do the girls hair and makeup ourselves, have a friend take pictures, and make a sheet cake and decorate it as best we could. My dress is a cheap, secondhand gown thats nice but not everything I had hoped for. We weren't even going to have a honeymoon. At this point I'm just ready to throw in the towel and go to the justice of the peace.
My fiance doesn't understand why I am so upset and thinks the senior center will be just fine. I'm ready to cancel the bridesmaid dress orders and see if I can get at least a partial refund on my dress (which is not fully paid for anyway). At the end of the day, it seems stupid to spend over a grand on a craptastic wedding that is not going to be at all what I want anyway. I'd rather go to the justice of the peace because at least it is the cheaper version a wedding I never wanted.
I should add that our relationship has not been easy. Because of circumstances outside of our control, our time dating was definitely not a fairytale. I guess I was just hoping that maybe the engagment and wedding could be a little more traditionally "romantic" and "dreamy." But I guess not.
I know I should just feel happy to be marrying the man I love, but I don't. I know I should be content with what I can get and be grateful that a wedding is even a possibility, because compared to lots of people around the world, we are well off. But I am not happy. I feel like a miserable, selfish wretch.
Any words of advice or encouragment would be more than welcome!