Families to meet?

kayla2536

Hello! My fiance's (Kyle) parents and my parents have not met yet. I'd really like them too before the wedding. If you've read my other post, my parents are a bit tough to handle sometimes and Kyle's parents are a bit awkward sometimes. We're trying ot think of a way for them to meet and minimize the awkwardness!

Here's our idea:

Schedule reservations at a restuarant (nothing too fancy, keep it casual) for his parents, my parents, along with my younger brother, his 6 brothers and sisters and their kids along with our wedding party. That way it's casual/laid back, everyone knows someone and won't necessarily be struggling to fill the silences. We can't afford to cover everyone's bill so it would be everyone taking care of their own bill. That way it's kind of like an informal engagement party?

Suggestions? Advice?

6fsn

No, no, no.  4 parents, 7 siblings, how many kids and wedding party?  This just sounds like a recipe for disaster.  Plus throwing a party and asking the attendants to pay for one more thing for your wedding sounds terrible rude.

Invite both sets of parents to a restaurant you like.  Call ahead and tell them that you are paying for the dinner.  Get there a little early and give the server your credit card.  Put on your big kid underwear and be the host to these people. 

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_families-to-meet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2fa778f2-9d45-49e5-b3ba-c26ee383e1b3Post:683559dd-faab-4218-86b0-8f49a1f58f11">Families to meet?</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello! My fiance's (Kyle) parents and my parents have not met yet. I'd really like them too before the wedding. If you've read my other post, my parents are a bit tough to handle sometimes and Kyle's parents are a bit awkward sometimes. We're trying ot think of a way for them to meet and minimize the awkwardness! Here's our idea: Schedule reservations at a restuarant (nothing too fancy, keep it casual) for his parents, my parents, along with my younger brother, his 6 brothers and sisters and their kids along with our wedding party. That way it's casual/laid back, everyone knows someone and won't necessarily be struggling to fill the silences. We can't afford to cover everyone's bill so it would be everyone taking care of their own bill. <strong>That way it's kind of like an informal engagement party?</strong> Suggestions? Advice?
Posted by kfritz36[/QUOTE]

<div>Engagement parties are hosted, and not by the engaged couple. Leave the wedding party out of it if you are really set on the parents meeting, and maybe even leave out the siblings and their kids. But really, I don't consider it at all necessary for the parents to meet. They're not becoming each other's in-laws, after all, so what's the point?</div><div>
</div><div>My parents and H's parents met a few times over the course of our 5.5 years of dating before our wedding. Most of these consisted of a meal together at a restaurant while we were on the way to or from a vacation with other family members because we happened to be passing through the area. I guess they like each other okay, but they're not friends and they don't have to be.</div>

kayla2536

We've been dating almost five years and our parents have never even spoken to eachother. I know they don't need to meet, it would just be nice. I

And it would be wonderful if we could afford to pay for everyone's meals, but we can't. Must be nice if you can. But paying for our wedding, me opening my own business and graduating college on top of moving out...doesn't exactly work out too well. Pretty tight budget, as I'm sure most people are. 

rlmarroc

You can't invite people to dinner and then expect them to pay for themselves. Invite=you pay Additionally, inviting all those other people would hinder your goal of your parents meeting and getting to know each other. If money is tight, cook dinner for the parents at your house.

6fsn

I can't afford dinner out for 20 some people, but I can afford dinner out for 2 sets of parents.  If you can't swing that cook dinner for everyone.  If that is still too much ignore the whole thing.

dtbluv

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_families-to-meet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2fa778f2-9d45-49e5-b3ba-c26ee383e1b3Post:7129b3fd-8b6c-4236-9f83-624c044c616d">Re: Families to meet?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Families to meet? : Engagement parties are hosted, and not by the engaged couple. Leave the wedding party out of it if you are really set on the parents meeting, and maybe even leave out the siblings and their kids. But really,<strong> I don't consider it at all necessary for the parents to meet. </strong>They're not becoming each other's in-laws, after all, so what's the point? My parents and H's parents met a few times over the course of our 5.5 years of dating before our wedding. Most of these consisted of a meal together at a restaurant while we were on the way to or from a vacation with other family members because we happened to be passing through the area. I guess they like each other okay, but they're not friends and they don't have to be.
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

<div>I think this really depends on the couple.  For me personally, I don't know what I'd do if FI's mom and my parents didn't get along, much less not know each other.  Part of this may stem from my intense desire to have everyone I love love each other (not always realistic, but when it happens I am insanely happy about it), but for me I couldn't stand my parents not knowing FI's family.  I'm not saying you did things wrong or anything, just that for the OP your situation may not work for her.

OP- could you do a dinner AND something?  Like a dinner and game night, or dinner and watching a big football game or movie that everyone might like?  In my experience games tend to bring people together, conversation is mostly about the game, but there is still a bond there, especially if you mix up the teams like women against men or something.

I'd say if you actually want your parents to meet, keep it small, with so many people the sets of parents may not actually talk at all during the dinner.  And, if you do the inviting you should pay for everyone.  My suggestion would be for a casual dinner at home with a game of pictionary or cranium or something to follow.</div>

kayla2536

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_families-to-meet?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:2fa778f2-9d45-49e5-b3ba-c26ee383e1b3Post:14a2d198-7443-40d8-9531-7d271f06a837">Re: Families to meet?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Families to meet? : I think this really depends on the couple.  For me personally, I don't know what I'd do if FI's mom and my parents didn't get along, much less not know each other.  Part of this may stem from my intense desire to have everyone I love love each other (not always realistic, but when it happens I am insanely happy about it), but for me I couldn't stand my parents not knowing FI's family.  I'm not saying you did things wrong or anything, just that for the OP your situation may not work for her. OP- could you do a dinner AND something?  Like a dinner and game night, or dinner and watching a big football game or movie that everyone might like?  In my experience games tend to bring people together, conversation is mostly about the game, but there is still a bond there, especially if you mix up the teams like women against men or something. I'd say if you actually want your parents to meet, keep it small, with so many people the sets of parents may not actually talk at all during the dinner.  And, if you do the inviting you should pay for everyone.  My suggestion would be for a casual dinner at home with a game of pictionary or cranium or something to follow.
Posted by dtbluv[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks, that's definitely something to think about. My major concern is minimizing awkwardness. </div>