Wedding Woes

Dad or step-dad walk me down the aisle?

This issue is really stressing me out! I can't decide who to have walk me down the aisle. My parents divorced when I was 6 years old, and my mom remarried my step-dad when I was in 7th grade.  My step-dad has been wonderful to me. He has been the one there for me throughout the years. He has been to every basketball game, dance competition, cheerleading event I've had. I know if I need something done around the house I can call him and he will come fix it. I know if my car breaks down, he will leave work and come fix get my point.  My father however has not always been there for me. I see him usually once or twice a year, christmas and thanksgiving. He doesn't call on my birthday, in fact I don't know if he remembers when it is, and he didn't pay child support when I was growing up. STILL, he is my flesh and blood father and he is not dead, so I felt like I should at least include him in walking me down the aisle, maybe halfway. My mom was furious when she heard this and said he does not deserve to be in any part of my wedding, and should only be invited as a guest.  She said my step-dad would be very hurt if I allowed my dad to walk me down the aisle.  I told her I felt I would really hurt my dad's feelings if I had my step-dad walk me down, and she doesn't seem to think it will.  I then said I would rather have no one walk me down the aisle because I don't want to deal with it, and she was once again mad and said my step-father would be really upset. 

The main thing is I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. My step-dad has three younger girls so he will get to do this 3 other times, where my father will not get to.  I pointed this out to my mother and she said my step-dad has said multiple times that I mean more to him than his own dauthers...don't know if I believe that but whatever.

Am I being too sensitive towards my dad's feelings? Will it look bad to have someone who everyone in my family hates walk me down the aisle? Is my thinking logical??

Please help!


Re: Dad or step-dad walk me down the aisle?

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Weddings are not the time to create fake family ties with people you wish had been there for you while you were growing up. They're a time to celebrate the ties you're creating with the people who are truly closest to you.
  • edited December 2011
    I can really see where it'd be a little hard to decide, but you said it yourself: "My father however has not always been there for me." And your stepfather has...

    I definitely agree that you're putting a lot into what your father might think, but he really hasn't thought much about YOU during your whole life!  Your wedding is YOUR day, all about you-- wouldn't it feel nicer to have the participants be those who've always had your back?

    Just a thought... :)
  • edited December 2011

    I would go with your step dad having the honor. In my situation my mother isn't even invited to my wedding. She has never been there for me and loves to cause a scene. My stepmom is a bigger part of my life
    At my dad and stepmom's wedding her mother and stepdad walked her down the aisle. Her father attended but wasn't really a part of her life.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • coxmalcoxmal member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks for your replies! It really has helped :)
  • edited December 2011
    I'm having both my father and step father walk me down. My friend got married a month ago and did the same, and it worked fine. I haven't had that great of a relationship with either of my fathers, so I wasn't sure what to do, at first. I decided I'll just have both walk me down.
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