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Wedding Woes

Woah lady.

Q. Pregnant Teacher: My daughter's fourth-grade teacher is unmarried and pregnant. Although she is a fantastic educator, kids at that age are bound to ask questions and are old enough that you cannot placate them with a simple answer. I asked her teacher what she told the children about her condition. She told me that she informed them she was pregnant (she is due in June, so this was obvious) and that was it. I asked her if she planned to keep the baby. She told me that was her business alone and she is not obligated to explain her marital status or plans with her child to me or anybody else. I feel that this woman has significant exposure and influence over my child and my questions were perfectly acceptable. Should I take this to the principal or switch classrooms? My husband thinks we should drop it, but I don't want my daughter to get the impression that single motherhood is acceptable.
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Re: Woah lady.

  • at least her husband has some sense.
  • slut shaming, an american passtime since...well, since before we were America.
  • I remember my fav 8th grade teacher got fired for getting knocked up without being married, but it was a Catholic school and in her contract.

    We all wrote letters to the principal, but they didn't let her keep her job.
    image
  • I do always wonder what lesson these people want to send their kids.

    "If you get PG, get an abortion immediately!"
    "If you get PG, assume I'll disown you"
    "If you get PG, I'll barate you for the rest of your life and try to force you into adoption"

    (I can be judgy with the rest of them, but, sheesh, take some responsibility for what you teach your kids..and do that--teach 'em )
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:e63bf6ac-6590-4bb9-8f03-09ace08ab84a">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I do always wonder what lesson these people want to send their kids. "If you get PG, get an abortion immediately!" "If you get PG, assume I'll disown you" "If you get PG, I'll barate you for the rest of your life and try to force you into adoption" (I can be judgy with the rest of them, but, sheesh, take some responsibility for what you teach your kids..and do that--teach 'em )
    Posted by GBCK[/QUOTE]

    They want to teach their kids not to have sex before marriage.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:73b54d92-c255-4713-8b48-05683081c2d8">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Woah lady. : They want to teach their kids not to have sex before marriage.
    Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]



    ::head tilt::

    I think we know what their fantasy looks like. I think we also know how well that is likely to work. Bristol Palin is not the exception in circumstances like these.

    image
  • Well that's the message, right?  You must abstain or live in shame for the rest of your life with your bastard baby.
  • Andplusalso, this lady is missing the fact that her 4th grader probably doesn't know or care if her teacher is married.  Kids don't think like that.  It's all "Ooh baby! Babies are cute.  Ms. X will probably have a cute baby." one second and "I wonder if Abby will play with me at recess." the next.  

  • There is a huge double standard in some circles.   I think there are a lot of people who are very anti-abortion that have had abortions or paid for abortions to avoid the family/work/church/social circle shaming that would result from a visible pregnancy. 
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:189b18f2-aa5f-4c43-851b-38dd0a2df61a">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Andplusalso, this lady is missing the fact that her 4th grader probably doesn't know or care if her teacher is married.  Kids don't think like that.  It's all "Ooh baby! Babies are cute.  Ms. X will probably have a cute baby." one second and "I wonder if Abby will play with me at recess." the next.  
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    Also, unless they are raising this kid in a cave, this is far from the only single pregnant lady their daughter is going to be exposed to.  If their daughter has so little input from them that they have to worry about being corrupted by the pregnant belly of a 4th grade teacher they have much bigger problems on their hands.
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • My cousin, who is married, works for a very conservative Lutheran school.  She will have to quit/be let go when she gets pregnant and starts showing.  
  • Some people have a lot of opinions on other people's vaginas and uteri.
  • If this woman is so uber-religious as to think her kids and everyone who comes in contact with her kids should wait until marriage for sex, then why isn't the kid in some sort of private religious school?
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:90badb1a-84fa-493e-9767-aba68dd63a8e">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]There is a huge double standard in some circles.   I think there are a lot of people who are very anti-abortion that have had abortions or paid for abortions to avoid the family/work/church/social circle shaming that would result from a visible pregnancy. 
    Posted by zsazsa-stl[/QUOTE]
    Well, according to the Catholics, it's the exact same amount of sin to kill the baby or to have it, so...Yeah, I don't know how to finish that sentence, either. 
    image
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:fdbc56d1-4b72-4b20-b7b8-b88936dd0bed">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]My cousin, who is married , works for a very conservative Lutheran school.  She will have to quit/be let go when she gets pregnant and starts showing.  
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]

    Wait, what?  Lutherans are against procreation?
    image
  • There's at least one very, VERY conservative Lutheran synod, but there's a super-liberal one, and a middle-of-the-road one, too. Maybe more. I think there's only the three major synods in the US, though. 
    image
  • Bmom, I have heard that the rate of abortions per capita are higher amongst Catholics than the general population but there are also a whole lot of people self identify as Catholic but don't actually agree with most Catholic teachings, so I'm sure that is at play. I would love to see the stats adjusted for that.

    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:326278ba-f8db-4061-86d4-b37705228ab0">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i think you need to get over yourself and listen to your husband
    Posted by JamiesonCampbell[/QUOTE]

    SMH
    image

    I just a friendly gal looking for options.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:326278ba-f8db-4061-86d4-b37705228ab0">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i think you need to get over yourself and listen to your husband
    Posted by JamiesonCampbell[/QUOTE]

    Merry Christmas to me!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:326278ba-f8db-4061-86d4-b37705228ab0">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]i think you need to get over yourself and listen to your husband EDIT: I'm sorry if that comes across as harsh but judgmental people like that really tick me off. In no way is this teachers "situation" as you call it any of your concern.. your child as previously mentioned will not realize that she is not married, and it was quite rude of you to ask her what she planned to do with the baby. If she is a fantastic educator leave it at...
    Posted by JamiesonCampbell[/QUOTE]

    There's always one.  ::sigh::

    Jamies - this is a letter to Dear Prudie.  We discuss them often.
  • mrs. conn NEVER listens to her husband.

    conn, here is a helpful article on what would make you the dutiful wife we all want you to be.

    http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=150
  • I love the turn this thread has taken.   This was the best gift to come back to after lunch.  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:9b3e89d9-ab74-44c0-82d9-cef4ec0778bd">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]There's at least one very, VERY conservative Lutheran synod, but there's a super-liberal one, and a middle-of-the-road one, too. Maybe more. I think there's only the three major synods in the US, though. 
    Posted by baconsmom[/QUOTE]

    Yes.  They are part of the uber-uber conservative one.  My cousins went to Lutheran boarding schools and some Lutheran college in the middle of the MN tundra, far from civilization.  My cousin's husband is in the process of becoming a minister.   Her brother and his wife are teachers for Lutheran schools as well.  

    I'm actually kind of surprised my cousin hasn't gotten pregnant yet, since they've been married at least 3 or 4 years.  I also know that my aunt (her mom) told my mom once that she didn't like sex because it was 'too messy'.
  • Oh and all their FB posts have to do with what God's plan is for them or how they've been blessed by God for one reason or another.

    Aaaannnddd I just checked, and they all dumped me as a FB friend.  Hee!! 
  • well, conn, that's the same reason i dumped you as a FB friend. now you know.  ;)
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:b8b00e4e-f66f-4b99-914e-d0bcb3ffccb4">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]well, conn, that's the same reason i dumped you as a FB friend. now you know.  ;)
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    You dumped me becuase it was God's plan?  Or because I'm not a good Christian wife?
  • a little bit of both i think!

  • I'm SO glad you cleared that up.  It was keeping me up at night.  ;)
  • edited February 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:36460c53-17c7-453e-bea4-d8fe92f3cafc">Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Q. Pregnant Teacher: My daughter's fourth-grade teacher is unmarried and pregnant. Although she is a fantastic educator, kids at that age are bound to ask questions and are old enough that you cannot placate them with a simple answer. I asked her teacher what she told the children about her condition. She told me that she informed them she was pregnant (she is due in June, so this was obvious) and that was it. I asked her if she planned to keep the baby. She told me that was her business alone and she is not obligated to explain her marital status or plans with her child to me or anybody else . I feel that this woman has significant exposure and influence over my child and my questions were perfectly acceptable. Should I take this to the principal or switch classrooms? My husband thinks we should drop it, but I don't want my daughter to get the impression that single motherhood is acceptable.
    Posted by mrs.conn23[/QUOTE]
    WOW! so you want to burn her at the stake for it? My mom is a single mother and I turned out great. I'm not whoring around or whatever 'single mother' kids perception you have. What is she supposed to do...marry a guy just because she opened her legs to him? People need to stop being so judgemental. If the kids ask questions in her class tell them the truth...It's none of your business go do your homework! What do you expect the principal to do...fire her? In today's economy that is grounds for you to get your a** kicked royally.
    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_woah-lady?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:32cafd4b-21a4-4dfc-8180-fcfb2ffd91baPost:16fe6624-466a-4aae-8eb3-696d02f5dd44">Re: Woah lady.</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Woah lady. : WOW! so you want to burn her at the stake for it? My mom is a single mother and I turned out great. I'm not whoring around or whatever 'single mother' kids perception you have. What is she supposed to do...marry a guy just because she opened her legs to him? People need to stop being so judgemental. If the kids ask questions in her class tell them the truth...It's none of your business go do your homework! What do you expect the principal to do...fire her? In today's economy that is grounds for you to get your a** kicked royally.
    Posted by FutureMrsPrice2013[/QUOTE]

    Yes, 'She's a witch, BURN HER!'  I think we should take slut shaming to a whole new level and take it back a few hundred years. 

    Oy vey.  Did you not read any of the responses?  This is a C+P (cut and paste, just so we're clear) that I brought here for discussion purposes.  Not because I agree with it. 

    Merry Christmas again, AF!
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