RSVP issue

shelby8020

So my FI is not close wth his father at all for various reasons. (his dads not the most educated/decent person). I kind of have a chip on my shoulder about him, ever since FI told me all the horrible stories about him. I've seen him maybe three times in the past two years and he's always been fine with me but I just can't get all the stories out of my head and I find myself judging him.

Anyway, he told us yesterday that he wanted to bring his best friend and his best friends wife......he had already rsvped so I was kind of confused because we had put "and guest" and he replied that "2" people were coming. He said he didn't understand the invitation (lol) and he meant that HIM AND 2 GUESTS were coming with him. Omgggg!!! Sooo rude and ignorant. I pretty much flipped out becuse i thought about how the placeards were already printed and shipped and told my FI to tell him he can bring one guest, which was the original plan! His dad does not understand wedding ettiquette. I know I shouldn't be annoyed at someone's ignorance but I am. My parents wished I would have asked them first cuz they didn't think it was a big deal, we went back to him and said it was ok to bring the other guy but his dad isnt bringing anyone now ugh. Now parents are pissed off because it makes them look bad thy think since they are hosting wedding. A few people from his side of family will b there so it's not like he will be there alone .

shelby8020

Continued lol....... So how would you have reacted to him just "adding" guests? If he had asked us months ago when we made the guest list I wouldn't have minded, but you don't do things like that one month before!!!

mekiakoo

Well, it seems like its all good now, right? I'd just let this slide since you siaid he doesn't really understand wedding etiquette. Maybe it was just a honest mistake (misunderstanding in this case)? And nobody else is trying to do the same thing, right? But I don't understand how you were able to have the place cards all ready if you didn't know the name of the guest in the first place? Didn't you ask him for the name before you sent it out? I'm a little confused.

shelby8020

No I don't think its a big deal to put "and guest" on the place card. That's when he was going to just bring one guest, or so I thought. Then he did what he did and I realized that it was married couple he wanted to bring so they really should have their own placecard

mzad22

That is really annoying, I'm sorry!  I also get annoyed when people blatently ignore something like that. I would say just to forget about it, he made his decision and it works so I wouldn't dwell on it.  But I do agree that it is annoying.

mekiakoo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_rsvp-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:5675baa9-431d-4832-9828-67f0c0909dccPost:ba70ccf7-2651-4cd8-bbe2-f65208cee870">Re:RSVP issue</a>:
[QUOTE]No I don't think its a big deal to put "and guest" on the place card. That's when he was going to just bring one guest, or so I thought. Then he did what he did and I realized that it was married couple he wanted to bring so they really should have their own placecard
Posted by shelby8020[/QUOTE]



Oh okay, now I get it!

littlemoments324

Well, I believe what you did was right.....He should have asked you two before he asked them just to be clear...if he didn't understand it, he should have asked before he took action...

awright1983

I don't understand what being educated has to do with being a decent person.  Sounds like your parents are rightfully annoyed with you for being judgemental and rude to your FFIL.

shelby8020

Lol I'm pretty sure if any one of your guests just "randomly" added their own guests, your would certainly be annoyed. And trust me, he's not a good person, call me judgemental, call me whatever you want...... If you knew all the stuff he did you would feel the same.

shelby8020

Lol I'm pretty sure if any one of your guests just "randomly" added their own guests, your would certainly be annoyed. And trust me, he's not a good person, call me judgemental, call me whatever you want...... If you knew all the stuff he did you would feel the same.

awright1983

He may very well not be a decent person.  But you make a direct correlation between being educated and being decent.  That doesn't compute.

I'm actually pretty laid back about the wedding.  I would certainly discuss with the hosts (in this case your parents) how they wanted something like this handled before flying off the handle.  It sounds like your behaviour was embarassing to your parents.

In my case my fiance and I are hosting the wedding.  We would have had a discussion on how to handle things.  If we decided we couldn't accomodate additional guests we would have calmly and politely addressed it with the guest.

Also since this is your fi's father it should have been him addressing it (after speaking with your parents), not you.

shelby8020

get your facts straight sweetheart...i'm quite sure I didnt  "fly off the handle" and my FI was absolutely the one speaking to him .

I dont mean being "educated" as in...he has no college degree, it goes way beyond that. 

Sorry you took such "offense" to this, why dont you just stop writing then:)

awright1983

[QUOTE]I pretty much flipped out [/QUOTE]

Because I was hoping through rational conversation you'd reconsider your attitude.  I must have forgot this was the internet.

shelby8020

Rational conversation? You come across aggressive and rude, so yes please, show me your wise ways....