Dilemma over how to remember our daughter....

Kmcgrail1190

My fiance and I have two children, Jack and Ava Rose. Ava Rose died of SIDS a month after she was born. We want to do something in memory of her but we do notwant a big deal made of it, since our wedding is suppose dto make a happy wedding, any suggestions on something small and significant we can do?!?

6fsn

I don't have any suggestions, but I am very sorry for your loss.

VarunaTT

Why not carry a picture of her in your bouquet and him in his pockets or something else small personal to you and your husband?

Y'know, I know people do momentos to parents and grandparents and such in their weddings, but a child?  I think that'd be really hard for people to be able to see the joy in a life unlived. 

mermaidutp

If you are doing programs, you could also make mention of her.  Something like "We honor the memories of all of our loved ones who could not be with us today, especially our beloved daughter Ava Rose."

Another idea - since her name was Ava Rose - maybe use roses in your boquet and his bout. as a private and quiet way to honor her memory.

Kmcgrail1190

Thank you, those are both good ideas, and it's not an issue of other people finding joyfor me, she isstill my daughter, and although other people maybe uncomfortable with it, all I can do is keep the memories we do have of her happy ones, and I want to remember her, why should I pretend she didnt exsist because other people might not find joy in my remembering her?

yannasmom

I have a friend that will be married in September and has been through the same type of experience. Her daughter (my goddaughter) was murdered two years ago. She is using butterflies all over her wedding as to make sure that the baby is remembered. She will not be remembered with sadness at all. The butterflies symbolize her being beautiful and free.
Whatever your way is, be sure that you keep her memory in that day. It will make you feel better knowing that she is still there watching, smiling.
I think that the locket on your bouquet is a very nice way to cherish someone. Or if you have something small of hers you can have it sewn into your dress and/or pinned there. That way only you know that it is there and you feel her with you.

Kmcgrail1190

Thank you all! We have found some small memorial pieces that are personalized with a picture and a few words that are meant to be in your bouqet and pinned to his boutenniere.

Taymo1998

   I so appreciate the question possed by the Bride, for I too lost my 9year old Daughter Jordan Lee, and you have all given me some great ideas on including her in our June 11th ceremony. In addition to mentioning her absence on our special day, we have chosen her favorite color, PURPLE, to honor her memory.  Thank you for helping me through this emotional dilemma.    ~Kathy~