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CoCo'sMommy

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tesskerr

suck it up... it's family

they will always do stuff to piss you off, may as well get used to it now! 

SD3194

Yep, I think you're overthinking it. Why don't you make an effort to get to know them before the wedding? They are your SISTERS..not some random kids.

Butter Cookie

Well, hey - at least you're setting a great example for your younger step sisters. "Don't bother with trying to get to know me, guys. I certainly don't give two shts about you two, regardless of the fact that my father is raising you!"

CoCo'sMommy

v

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_please-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:36d5b24f-9238-408b-a06d-524658f795d5Post:539793ed-4e11-44da-82b9-9941a7005176">Re: Help please!</a>:
[QUOTE]Well first off my parents are divorced, they are not my sisters at all. In addition to that my dad has somewhat Abandoned my real sisters and myself to create a new family with this woman and her kids from another man.
Posted by CoCo'sMommy[/QUOTE]


Then why invite your father? Resolve this whole problem by not inviting the sperm donor, his wife, or those children (who are evil evil little monsters who deserve to be treated like outcasts)

Sounds like you're punishing these girls for unresolved anger toward your father.

Either accept them all or none of them, but realize these girls are only children and have nothing to do with your father abandoning you and your sisters.

notamrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_please-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:36d5b24f-9238-408b-a06d-524658f795d5Post:3549d3e9-3fde-4e15-9948-fbfb4e2107b6">Help please!</a>:
[QUOTE]So here is the situation. My Dad got married about 4 years ago to a woman who is around 10 years younger and has two young girls 11 and 7 years old. I am not close with either of them. I really did not want any kids at my wedding at all.(I am having my neice as a flower girl, but was planning on having her go to a sitter for the reception.) My father convinced me that the two girls would be able to go up to the hotel room by themselves during the reception(although I really dont want them there). Well we are planning on having someone do our hair at the hotel for the wedding. So naturally I invited my Dad's wife, but she said she would have to bring the girls. And she also said "I plan on having their hair done in updos since they are your SISTERS and how would you feel if your family got makeup and hair done and you didnt" I DO NOT like this idea at all. I dont want them to be a part of the wedding party and I wasnt planning on getting them flowers or taking pictures with them.  Also I feel having kids running around would stress me out! I have no idea what to do! HELP!
Posted by CoCo'sMommy[/QUOTE]

Unless she's expecting you to pay for it, what's the big deal if they get updos too?  You don't have to put them in the wedding party just because they are getting their hair done.  It would be nice to include them in some family pictures, though, because they are part of your family now, whether you like the situation or not.

Are they particularly ill-behaved children?  If not, then there's usually so much other activity going on the day of the wedding that you probably won't notice them being around as much as you think you will.

**O-Face**

Oh snap!

notamrs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_please-7?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:36d5b24f-9238-408b-a06d-524658f795d5Post:45624c35-5726-4a14-8024-d170757097df">Re: Help please!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Help please! : Well first off I could care less if they get their hair done thats not the issue. The issue is them coming in my mothers hotel suite to get their hair done with me. If we would be in a salon there  would be no issue at all. I asked for advice on how to resolve the situation and compromise, which I am more than willing to do. I did not however asked to be treated like some heartless B*tch who hates children.
Posted by CoCo'sMommy[/QUOTE]

Even though you tried to delete, here's my .02 more on the subject:

If your mother is getting a suite at the hotel and not just a tiny room, having your stepsisters there really shouldn't be as stressful as you're making it out to be unless, as I said, they have a history of being screaming banshee brats.  If they are well behaved, there's enough room in a suite for everyone to be comfortable while you are getting ready.

Just make sure stepmom knows she is responsible for paying for their hairdos and, if they are using your hairdresser, that you plan enough time for them.  Tell SM "be sure they are here by X so that they there's plenty of time for them to be finished before they start on my hair/makeup."

Weddings are exciting, especially for girls that age, and even though they are not in your wedding party, it would be nice to let them be around the "behind the scenes" action.  Since they are part of your father's life now, you've probably got years of shared holidays to spend with them and their mom, so why start off by ostracizing them?

Butter Cookie

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it's probably a heartless bitch. I'm just saying.

Butter Cookie

LOL

I'm sorry, I just can't take you seriously.

notamrs

As you said, you already resolved it.  You asked for ideas about compromise, but it seems your compromise was to cut out your stepsisters completely.  Your day, your perogative, but understand it may have consequences on your future relationships with some of your family members - which may or may not matter to you.  You're not close with your stepsisters, but it's possible that they will be a part of your family for a long time - you might want to consider building a relationship with them.  Or not.

I wasn't throwing stones - I've actually been in a lot of bridal suites, and as a general rule, people don't sit in their seats gazing at the bride for hours at a time. They get up, move around, come in and out of the room - even if they don't leave the hotel.  If there aren't enough seats for everyone to get their hair/makeup done at the same time, they take turns.  10-year-olds and 7-year-olds can very easily sit on the floor - and often do.  Wedding days are generally a little chaotic and busy - you'll enjoy the day much more if you relax and roll with it.  Just my perspective...that's all.