Washington-Seattle

Need thoughts/ideas

So, due to my family dynamic I've said I don't want any ushers or 'special roles' in our wedding because my Brother and one sister and my Brother's oldest daughter won't have any 'special role' in the wedding.  Presently FI and I each have 3 attendants (one of my Bridesmaids is my sister, one is my Brother's wife, the 3rd is my MOH - my best friend.) 

We have 1 reader, who is an old friend of mine who is a Priest.  It's a compromise for us because had he been our officiant he would have had to have used the ceremony from his church and that was too much God for FI.  So we're using a Pastor FI grew up with in his neighborhood.

Now that that's out of the way - here's where my "what to do" comes in.  We have a neighbor who we've grown pretty close to.  He's become a pretty big staple in our lives.  I jokingly said that should one of my BM's that's been pretty uncommunicative regarding the wedding drops out I'm asking Steve to be an attendant.  Well, that got me thinking that really - I'd like him to be a part of our special day.  We also keep joking that he's going to be my Mom's escort but I'd like for him to have an actual role in our day.

Can anyone think of something (other than usher or reader) that he could do?

Re: Need thoughts/ideas

  • mgoss228mgoss228 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Can he become one of either your FI's or your attendants?

    GM and BM numbers totally don't have to be the same.  It's fairily common to have uneven numbers in WPs nowadays Smile
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  • LGM22LGM22 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This is true.  My biggest dilemma is I like the small bridal parties we have, but also that I have 2 good friends that I've recently become close with.  Thing is, they're older and I don't know how they'd feel about being attendants.  Also, if I asked one how would the other feel (truth be told I don't think either one of them would make a big deal out of it - it's probably my own projection of feelings) but also if I were to ask one or both that would add more to our party. 

    I don't regret asking those I've asked, but my frustrations with my SIL's lack of response and me getting the feeling liek she doesn't care about the wedding or being in it make me sort of fantasize about her dropping out and me being able to ask my 2 friends and FI being able to then ask neighbor and we'd be all happy.

    But that's not going to happen.
  • edited December 2011
    The only other thing that I can think of is a guest book attendant. My aunt threw that one out because she want's me to think of job for her too. She is kind of like my 2nd mom so I want to think of something for her but our wedding doesn't have any "roles" to it.

    Oh just thought of another: if you are doing a unity candle you could have 1 or 2 of your "i wish" people go down the aisle first to light the candles. I remember doing that when I was younger in a cousins wedding. They make fancy lighter things they can hold and it would tie them in to your ceremony.
  • edited December 2011
    noooo Don't make any guestbook attendants.. That's a horrible job and people don't like being bugged to sign the thing. 

    I would just do corsages/bouts to recognize important people to you without having them standing up during it all. I think a simple recognition will be MUCH more appreciated than a "job" 

    If you want him to be your mom's escort, do it. Seriously. We didn't have a place for my SIL so she started the ceremony by walking down the aisle with FIL. It gave them recognition without having to do much. (we also had her hold our unity vase for our coffee bean unity ceremony) 

  • LGM22LGM22 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    He can be Mom's escort - sort of.  Mom is walking me down the aisle so he wouldn't really do that part :)

    Thanks for the ideas guys!  FI and I are mulling it over and discussing!  My Brother really hit the asshole mark hard on Friday and so I have a funny feeling our visit home is going to be an interesting one!  I also think we'll find out the truth from SIL if she actually does want to be a BM or if she just said yes out of obligation.

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