Wedding Woes
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WDYT?

DD has always been a great kid -- mellow, super sweet and very caring of others (she kisses any booboo in her class), happy.  Sure, she had the occasional tantrum but usually it was quick and rare.Then she approached 3.Cue defiance, more tantrums that last longer and occur more frequently and the most disturbing thing of all, a total surly and even hostile attitude towards her Oma and occasionally, DH.  Oma comes near her or talks to her and DD will scream at her to go away or ignore her while pouting.  And it's not like Oma is a horrible person to her -- she is a wonderful and caring grandmother who serves as an additional caretaker while here, putting her to bed on occasion, doing her hair, getting her dressed, feeding her, etc.  DD and Oma have always had a very close bond so this is disturbing.  She tried pulling this a few weeks ago with Oma in NY too in the few times we saw her.  Doesn't pull it with Opa for the most part (occasional ignoring there too).  She can also pull this with Daddy.  She basically just wants me. I don't tolerate that and basically absent myself in those times for DH or Oma to deal with her.  I have also told her we are nice to those we love and not mean and to be polite and nice (and how to say politely she wants to be left alone).  I've also just started, when she is mean like that to one of them, telling her no and then paying a ton of attention to them while ignoring her (IOW, she doesn't get what she wants which is my attention and instead because of her behavior, that attention gets lavished on the target of her ire).  She gets plenty of mommy time and even upping that seems to have no effect.  She is fine if I put her to bed.Any words of wisdom for surviving this?  Please tell me this ends soon.  Because she is a total pill right now.---------------------------------------------------
From my local. I don't know - none of this sounds right to me. I mean, yeah, your kid should have to be polite, but she's obviously not getting enough of her mother's attention if she's misbehaving for it, and ignoring your kid while they're still in the room feels iffy to me. Maybe I'm just too nice to Bacon, who knows. 
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Re: WDYT?

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    The kid is THREE. 

    And I hate cutesy names for grandparents. Oma and Opa? *smh*
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    Exactly, Zzilla. Bacon pulled a lot of this stuff at 3, so I get her frustration, but the important thing for us was not who she got attention from, but that she sought it in socially-appropriate ways. 

    So if she wanted Daddy to put her to bed, she had to ask for that. If she had a fit, she had a time-out - H didn't make a big show of talking to me instead of her, or just leave her to me. That feels cruel. 
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    Oma and Opa are German for Grandma and Grandpa. If you have two actual sets of gparents, I can see doing something like that to differentiate. And then it gets to be their "name", y'know? We still call my mom's dad "Boppa". 
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    I think I should have raised kids in the 70's. We do too much thinking and analyzing in 2010.
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