fiance with too many opinions...

alisonkriedel

Does anyone else have this problem? I love that my fiance wants to be involved in helping me plan the wedding, but he wants just about EVERYTHING done his way and if he doesnt get his way or i disagree he acts bitter. Hes just not good at not getting his way, or when i change my mind about something. Its just one argument after another. I feel like im dealing with Groomzilla.... 

I dunno, maybe im just overreacting, but this isnt the way i pictured wedding planning to be. I pictured my mother being more involved and her helping me make decisions just going to him to make sure he likes what we picked out. Its almost like he is trying to plan the whole thing himself and he just wants me to agree with everything he says. 

I just want to be married already and be done with wedding planning and stupid arguments over invitations and registries.

mrsconn23

It's his wedding too.   My DH was very interested in the planning of our wedding and definitely knew what he did and did not want.

It sounds like you are having a power struggle.  I would be bitter too if my FI was basically telling me that my ideas about *OUR* wedding didn't mean jack and she was going to plan it her way.  Maybe you should both figure out how to compromise?

Also:  I pictured my mother being more involved and her helping me make decisions just going to him to make sure he likes what we picked out.

Is your mom even interested in helping you? 

You know, there's so many people who come here who want their mom (sister, BFF, etc) and/or FI to be more involved in helping them plan their wedding.  You have someone who *wants* to help you and you're pushing it away.  Again, compromise is the key and if you can't compromise on planning your wedding,  what else are you *not* going to be able to compromise on down the line?

Lastly, Do you have something against using apostrophe's or spelling out entire words?

*Barbie*

my advice is to stop being a \#/ and let your FI have his input - after all, it's his "big day" too. 

oh, andplusalso, you shouldn't use your full name as your screen name. That's a big internet no-no. 

Wonderw1fe

If he wants to plan it, let him. I let my husband plan ours and it was wonderful. I picked my dress, my BM dresses and showed up smiling the day of.

HookaPants

You do realize you're complaining about his behavior, yet acting the same way he does, right? Maybe you guys should plan a birthday party together before planning a wedding. It's his wedding, too and he's entitled to opinons just as you are.

zsazsa-stl

It sounds like you haven't broken him yet.  Go to youtube, search for Superbow 2010 commercials and learn, little grasshopper.  Once you carry his balls in your purse, you will be able to have whatever kind of wedding you want.

Butter Cookie

There are two people getting married. You're aware of that, correct?

Perhaps the two of you need to sit down with a third party and learn how to communicate effectively.

"Your idea sucks" is not effective communication.

And, if you're not hearing the little things he says, he's going to push for the bigger things, so he gets heard. I know, I know. Crazy talk. It's amazing how a raised voice, ignored, leads to yelling.

katorigasuki

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fiance-many-opinions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:3d59a494-2cdb-46e7-9b52-2677d5fdbd60Post:9d31413d-b64f-48fd-bf36-5e7b39204c19">fiance with too many opinions...</a>:
[QUOTE]Does anyone else have this problem? I love that my fiance wants to be involved in helping me plan the wedding, but he wants just about EVERYTHING done his way and if he doesnt get his way or i disagree he acts bitter. Hes just not good at not getting his way, or when i change my mind about something. Its just one argument after another. I feel like im dealing with Groomzilla....  I dunno, maybe im just overreacting, but this isnt the way i pictured wedding planning to be. I pictured <strong>my mother</strong> being more involved and her helping <strong>me </strong>make decisions just going to him to <strong>make sure he likes what we picked out</strong>. Its almost like he is trying to plan the whole thing himself and he just wants me to agree with everything he says.  I just want to be married already and be done with wedding planning and stupid arguments over invitations and registries.
Posted by alisonkriedel[/QUOTE]


"me me me me me"

yeah yeah, i get it you're the bride.  it's YOUR SPAYSHUL DAAAAAAYYY!

don't forget, it's his wedding too. be glad you have a groom that's actually interested.

and honestly, if you two can learn to compromise on wedding planning, good luck ever making it through marriage when something that actually matters comes up.

acirewriteflower

HA!  I have that problem, but it's not 100% the groom, but his mother too!!  It's a loosing battle with him and his mom.  I cut my guest list down, but he didn't... hmm I have a bigger family too.  Not all my step siblings are invited!  Much more chaos has errupted.  Anyhow, I feel your pain. 

It would all be fine if the in-law opinion wasn't there are strongly, maybe he could make his own decision.

jonchrissy

I think it depends on what you're talking about compromising on...if its tuxes, dj, invitations, food, etc. and whos paying for all of it. My FI is not happy about where we're probably going to get married, but we aren't paying a dime for the wedding (thank you family) so I've just been telling him we pay and make decisons or we don't and say thank you with a smile.

[Deleted User]

I wish I had the problem with my FI, he just doesn't care about very much and I try to get him interested, but to no avail. You are going to have to compromise in marriage so you might as well get used to it now. I would sit down and have a heart to heart about how you feel so you can both be on the same page. Your wedding day and marriage is about you 2, so you need to work together on things now and for the rest of your life. You should first plan with him, how you want things to be, and then go to your mom for advice, etc.