Need advice on MIL

mrswolf0917

I am really unsure about what to do in this situation. Last night after watching Grey's Anatomy, FI told me that his Mom asked him if her and his Dad could dance to that last song Callie sang at our wedding for their anniversary which is the week before our wedding date. He said she had asked him if she could surprise his Dad and dance just them two to this song. So, that means that she wants it to be where everyone watches them dancing to a song at our wedding. My problem with this is that, it is our wedding. Why would our guests want to watch his parents dancing alone and why should we have to make our guests get off the dance floor for this?

Part of me feels like maybe I am being selfish and should just suck it up because who really cares at the end of the day. But another part of me feels like I have already done that for her, and done things for my wedding on her request which I am not happy about. And it is my day. I guess I just feel like it is FI and I's day, not his parents.

Does anyone have any advice? Maybe a comprise to make this work out? I was thinking that we could have the DJ annouce it and call them to the center of the dance floor and have them dance sometime during the night, but still allow the guest to dance with them (but I do not think that is what she wants). I also have no clue how or when we would even work this into the reception if they did dance by themselves.

hmonkey

what other things have you had to give in on?  mil expects you to give in on this one because you've already caved on other things, so enjoy watching your mil and fil slow grind on your wedding dance floor.

zsazsa-stl

Your MIL sounds like a giant AW.   If, like hmo said, she is indeed a controlling AW, at the most I would ask the DJ to announce it and let people give them a round of applause. 

But if she is not an AW and this is a rare request and you would like to give your IL's this, then ask for the announcement and this song but then you should be perfectly welcome to go out and dance with them if you so choose.

ReturnOfKuus

I'm side-eying your FI for even bothering to ask you, and not just telling her no and to stop being such an AW right off the bat.

nicoleg1982

I would just let them dance and take that opportunity to sit down and eat.

skippylouwho

Why not have the DJ introduce them, start the song and let them dance and then partially in to the song have the DJ invite others to join the anniversary couple on the dance floor.

You wouldn't necessarily have to tell your MIL that you're going to have the DJ invite people to join them.  It would give them their "moment" but keep it short and involved the others.

eshee8198

Meh, my parents' 30th anniversary was two months before our wedding. I asked them if they wanted to have a dance for the two of them to recognize it. They did, and we joined them halfway through, then all the guests joined at the end. It didn't make me any less special. It was actually really nice. Especially since the wedding was about, you know, family and lasting relationships and love and all that stuff.

eshee8198

Although I should point out that we did not do a mother/son dance (MIL wasn't really interested) so it's not like we forced our guests to sit through some extended dancing routing. I would have done away with the father/daughter dance too, if my mom hadn't pitched a fit about it.

*Barbie*

My parents' anniversary was the week before our wedding, and they didn't do any sort of special dance.

We did ask our parents to each provide us with "their song" and had the DJs announce it and play it during the evening.

"This next song is dedicated to *Barbie*'s parents, who celebrated their XX anniversay last weekend"

6fsn

Not knowing any other details, my first thought is "What's the big deal?  It's 5 mins out of an entire day."

InksWell

If you cave and let her have it, have "their song" after the Mother/Son dance. Have FI pass MIL on to Dad, maybe have your parents join them on the floor. The DJ could congratulate both couples on x years of marriage.

Your MIL is pretty ridiculous. Who thinks their husband would enjoy being suprised with a spotlight dance in front of a 1/2 strangers audience to a grey's anatomy song? It's a suprise because if FIL knew ahead of time, It wouldn't happen.

jerseydevil

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_need-advice-mil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:49726b73-d1d9-49aa-bd93-030807c321c7Post:76a07a95-1bb4-42d9-9c19-bbc4e5149707">Re: Need advice on MIL</a>:
[QUOTE]If you cave and let her have it, have "their song" after the Mother/Son dance. Have FI pass MIL on to Dad, maybe have your parents join them on the floor. The DJ could congratulate both couples on x years of marriage. Your MIL is pretty ridiculous. Who thinks their husband would enjoy being suprised with a spotlight dance in front of a 1/2 strangers audience to a grey's anatomy song? It's a suprise because if FIL knew ahead of time, It wouldn't happen.
Posted by InksWell[/QUOTE]


That would be a good compromise. Part of a wedding is celebrating family and lasting relationships. Though, as a guest, I wouldn't want to watch an extra spotlight dance.