kid question

*Barbie*

how do you convince a toddler to keep their shoes on at daycare?

i have a no shoes in the house policy (i don't enforce it with guests, but it's preferred.)

i'm barefoot at home, and DK is usually in socks, or occasionally his (only worn in our house) workout shoes. Wolverine is typically barefoot. 

the first thing we do when we get home is take off our shoes. 

wolverine has taken to taking off her shoes and socks at daycare. they're getting annoyed, but i have no clue what to tell them.

to me, it's not a big enough deal to go out and try to buy her a new pair of $30+ lace up shoes. (if they even make them small enough - she's a 5.5-6, and current shoes + backups are velcro)

there's only so much pull we have at daycare. we can tell her to keep the shoes on/listen to teachers but they need to enforce it. 

any suggestions?

AuntFlo

I wouldn't worry about it.  Let daycare enforce it - if they don't want to enforce it, oh well.  Not your problem.   (That is, until she's a little older, then you should be able to explain it to her and expect her cooperation.)

Wzz

how big of a deal is this at daycare that you are concerned? if my kid doesnt have shoes on, then he starts pulling his socks off. and if he is bored in his car seat, he'll pull off his shoes to get to his socks. i generally have him barefoot at home to let his toes breathe, but i am always shocked that daycare hasn't told me that he likes to take his shoes and socks off while there.

she'll grow out of it eventually. i'm sure by HS she'll keep her clothes on.

GBCK

I'm w/ AF.

I don't see shoes as a big deal and, if it is, i'd expect daycare to know how to deal w/ it if I"m not there.

I'd tell the kid we wear shoes at daycare but...there's not much else you CAN do.

Wzz

if they are getting annoyed, then they need to chill out about it. they are around kids all day, so they should know that you cannot force a toddler to do, well, basically ANYTHING they aren't interested in doing.

i wouldnt even give them suggestions on how to keep her shoes on. *i'm* a little annoyed that they might have shown annoyance.

baconsmom

Why do they have their shoes on? That seems like a whole lot of dirt on the floor where they're playing. (For reference: the daycare I worked at had no outside component, and kids were required to be shoeless. Teachers were required to have daycare-only shoes or slippers.) 

This doesn't seem like a big deal to me, and I'd just tell her to listen to her teachers, I guess. Maybe you can talk about "school rules" and "home rules"? That got Bacon not to swear in public when she was young. 

mrsconn23

I think daycare needs a chill pill.  If they go outside she keeps her shoes and socks on, right?

What are they cocerned about?  That she'll stub her toes? Other kids will step on her feet? That it's 'dirty'?

dharmabunny

Reason for shoes at daycare? If a kid steps on a pencil, gets something heavy dropped on their toe or gets their toe smashed so hard they lose a toenail and it happens at home, it's an accident. When it happens at school it's an OMGWTF, why were you not supervising my darling child!!?! IDK i've always worked in places where proper shoes were a safety issue, so i really can't get in a snit over that rule. Anyway, I vote to do what BM suggested, start teaching house rules vs school rules. Maybe have a reward at the end of the day if the daycare teacher says she kept her shoes on all day.

MNNEBride

I agree with BM.

Also, I don't see how this is a big deal with the DC, they certainly have dealt with this issue before.  So many people do the "no shoes in the house" thing.

warpedredpenguin

I work in a daycare, and for us, kids not having shoes on will get us written up by the Fire Marshal. It's a hard thing to enforce, and unless they gave the same reasons, they really need to chill out about it. One thing we did was teach the kids to put their shoes on, and then they'd spend all day taking them off, just to put them back on and show us they did it. We looked at it as an excuse to build motor skills.

*Barbie*

my understanding is that it's a safety concern (no open toed shoes/sandals allowed, either). 

i get that, but i really don't understand what they want me to *do* about it. they need to figure out a way to enforce. I'm sure she's not the first/only kid to do this. 

i'll try bmom's suggestion on telling her about school rules vs. home rules. see if that helps after a while. 

the whole situation pisses me off because they seem to be making a bigger deal about this than they did about stopping the other kid from biting her.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kid-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:49a95319-52ac-417a-9ede-0b0903eae99ePost:cdbc87b9-b4ef-4903-8888-1723488f0492">Re: kid question</a>:
[QUOTE].  the whole situation pisses me off because they seem to be making a bigger deal about this than they did about stopping the other kid from biting her.
Posted by *Barbie*[/QUOTE]

I'd be bent about this too. 

6fsn

There isn't much you can do except talk about home and school like bmom suggested. 

Wzz

i would be inclined to ask what THEY are doing when this happens.

erinlin25

I worked in a school for many years and we had a similiar policy for safety reasons (shoes on; no open toed/etc.  agree with PP that you need to address school rules vs. home rules, and then yes the school will need to enforce it too if they are serious about it. 

DG1

Yes, it's a safety issue - fire code + heavy things + getting stomped on by other kids, etc. We have this issue, too. They make Desmo sit at a table until he agrees to put his shoes on. Sometimes he sits there all afternoon. 

We have had to enforce daycare things at home. When we first switched to the new place, Dex decided it would be interesting to strip naked during naptime. The first time he did it, we had a talk. The second time, we said no computer/TV/iPhone/iPad for the rest of the day. He only had his privileges revoked once before he shaped up. Even now, 6 months later, he'll occasionally say, "Can I play with the phone? I kept my clothes on." 

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kid-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:49a95319-52ac-417a-9ede-0b0903eae99ePost:f7aece2a-330a-43d3-b864-2d4844905aa9">Re: kid question</a>:
[QUOTE]  We have had to enforce daycare things at home. When we first switched to the new place,<strong> Dex decided it would be interesting to strip naked during naptim</strong>e. The first time he did it, we had a talk. The second time, we said no computer/TV/iPhone/iPad for the rest of the day. He only had his privileges revoked once before he shaped up. Even now, 6 months later, he'll occasionally say,<strong> "Can I play with the phone? I kept my clothes on." </strong>
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]

OMG, this made me LOL...a lot. 

Oh boys...so much fun.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_kid-question-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:49a95319-52ac-417a-9ede-0b0903eae99ePost:f7aece2a-330a-43d3-b864-2d4844905aa9">Re: kid question</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, it's a safety issue - fire code + heavy things + getting stomped on by other kids, etc. We have this issue, too. <strong>They make Desmo sit at a table until he agrees to put his shoes on. Sometimes he sits there all afternoon. </strong> We have had to enforce daycare things at home. When we first switched to the new place, Dex decided it would be<strong> interesting to strip naked during naptime.</strong> The first time he did it, we had a talk. The second time, we said no computer/TV/iPhone/iPad for the rest of the day. He only had his privileges revoked once before he shaped up. Even now, 6 months later, he'll occasionally say, <strong>"Can I play with the phone? I kept my clothes on." </strong>
Posted by DG1[/QUOTE]

<div>i *WISH* our daycare would do time out. usually at home, the threat of a time out is enough - at most, she'll get one threat, and then time out. if it's a "severe" misbehavior (something like hitting/biting/purposefully breaking something/etc.) she'll go straight there. we explain to her afterwards why she got the time out and the appropriate way to act. </div><div>
</div><div>Wolverine went through a week at daycare where she stripped off her pants/diaper and went to the bathroom wherever she happened to be standing - it happed a few times. She was using the toilet the rest of the time, so i'm thinking she asked to go and they didn't notice. </div><div>
</div><div>I'm LOL at Dex. hopefully that will work through high school ;-)</div>

Wzz

i don't even know what a successful time out looks like.

kid jumps on the couch, i sternly tell him to sit down, no jumping on the couch, and he laughs. while he's jumping.

so i go over and pick him up, tell him no jumping, and he squirms the entire time he's in my arms. if i put him in a different area of the house to redirect, he's determined to go back to jumping on the couch.

we'll put him in the pack-n-play and let him scream, but he screams. and screams. and when he settles down and we take him out, guess what he wants to do. JUMP ON THE COUCH.

we just have to keep redirecting (or putting on Nemo) until he eventually gets interested in something else. DCP told us that we're probably never bored with him. bored? never/. tired? FOR SURE!

i'm hoping that he's just too young to understand, but he'll eventually get it that no means no. i plan to have a talk with the pedi about if his hyperactivity is anything serious.

*Barbie*

Zzilla - we started with the time outs when she was about 18mo, for one minute. 

this is what works for us:

pick your time out spot. keep the same spot each time. 

give (at most one) warning - "sit down, no jumping on the couch. if you do not stop, you will get a time out"

if the behavior continues, tell child to go to time out

if they do not go on their own, walk them over to the spot and put them there

tell them they have a one minute time out. (this increases with age. she's 2 now, so gets 2 minutes)

if they want to sit there and throw a tantrum, fine. ignore them. do not talk to them, do not make eye contact.

let them see you ignoring them

if they get up, immediately walk them back over to the time out spot, and restart the clock. 

after one minute in time out, tell him that time out is over, explain in 2 sentences why he had a time out and how to correct his behavior. "you got a time out because you jumped on the couch and did not listen to mom. you need to listen to mom and no more jumping on the couch"

give him a hug and let him go back to playing. 

repeat as necessary.

(the first few times, until he understands, you may need to hold him in place there. - do not pick him up. make him sit on the floor and hold on to his arm or torso, so he cannot get up from the spot. don't talk to him - openly ignore him. after the first few times, do not make contact, stand just out of his reach, and evenutally add more distance)