Wedding Woes
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Backstabbing MOH (Maid of Hell)

Ok, here goes my rant:

When I got engaged back in June, it was automatic that my best friend Sarah would be my MOH.  She was so excited, I was excited, it was beautiful.  She came with me to pick out my dress, I helped her pick out hers and my other 'Maid's.  Around the time of our engagement, she met her current boyfriend/fiance through us, as he was one of my Fiance's BFF's/BM.

We all signed a lease to move into a 2bd/1.5bth apartment in August and moved in mid-month.  2 days after signing the lease, her man backed out.  Never offered to pay his rent, never offered to buy himself out, nothing.  Just decided he wasn't gonna participate.  To save the friendship between him and my man, we didn't make a big deal about it; we figured he was already struggling to cut the umbilical from his family, who were giving him the WORST time ever about moving out (he's 26, btw).  So rent was split 3 ways, between myself, my man, and Sarah.  Meanwhile, her man has been sleeping here multiple times a week, often skipping his shifts for work to sleep/screw here.  Again, not paying rent because he "wasn't living here". Exactly 1 month after we moved in, my man got unexpectedly laid off from his brand new job ON HIS BIRTHDAY.  So, it was up to Sarah and I to keep us afloat.

Now, 2 months into our lease. Sarah decided to be stupid and go off her B/C, citing fears of "long-term side effects of putting hormones in your body for years".  I BEGGED HER to use SOMETHING better than the Rhythm method she chose.  Sure enough, she got knocked up her very first cycle.  Now, ever since her 5th week, she's become a stark raving lunatic.  She decided that, come December 1st, she too is breaking our lease to move back home with her mommy and leaving my man and I with the rent. Keep in mind, he just started working yesterday, making minimum wage.  I'm a preschool teacher making $11/hour and F/T.  No way we can make a $1334/mo rent alone.  So Sarah informs us of her plans to move AFTER she's already packed her bathroom.  She decides to move for various reasons; I'm getting married, not enough room for her and her man and the baby (who isn't due until JUNE!!!!), fear of germs and ickyness of our cats (while she keeps 2 pet rats IN HER ROOM), the list goes on.  

So I sent her a text, saying that I was very hurt by her behavior of the last couple of weeks (emotional outbursts, then using pregnancy as her excuse, mostly).  I told her I no longer trusted her, and hoped her mommy would always be there, because I may not be.  Of course, she flew off the handle, threatening to move out within the week (which she did) and took the couch (sarcastic gasp), the shower curtain and hooks (sarcastic moan), but left the shower curtain LINER.  

Now here's the best part: any party who breaks the lease early is at the mercy of the remaining occupants.  They could choose to be nice and just release the breakers, or make them buy out their share to the tune of whatever the remaining occupants desire.  Naturally, we refuse to let them out without paying SOMETHING.  Now, both of them have gone so far off the deep end, it's ridiculous.  They are calling us every obscene name in the book, threateing to take us to court (another sarcastic gasp), basically throwing massive tantrums. Meanwhile, they are still stuck on the lease, but moved out, so we can get a roomie in there paying their rent, PLUS Sarah and her man's share of the remaining rent to put toward our wedding. So now, Sarah backed out of our wedding, as did her man and good riddance to them both.  I'm glad to be rid of them both, especially after Sarah already purchased her BM dress and cannot return it.  :)  I just cannot believe the woman I knew for nearly 15+ years would turn around and do this.  Now, we're scrambling to find a roommate so we dont' get evicted mid-December.  All I can say is, to hell with them both and their little spawn.

Re: Backstabbing MOH (Maid of Hell)

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    I really didn't have much of a problem with anything they wrote until you said to hell with their little spawn.  That is as wrong as wrong can get and pretty bitchy too.
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    n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_backstabbing-moh-maid-of-hell?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:4fe5ba9e-730f-412a-a1ca-504fc60a2637Post:ff162fb9-c5f9-456c-8619-91e05fe5c006">Backstabbing MOH (Maid of Hell)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, here goes my rant: When I got engaged back in June, it was automatic that my best friend Sarah would be my MOH.  She was so excited, I was excited, it was beautiful.  She came with me to pick out my dress, I helped her pick out hers and my other 'Maid's.  Around the time of our engagement, she met her current boyfriend/fiance through us, as he was one of my Fiance's BFF's/BM. We all signed a lease to move into a 2bd/1.5bth apartment in August and moved in mid-month.  2 days after signing the lease, her man backed out.  Never offered to pay his rent, never offered to buy himself out, nothing.  Just decided he wasn't gonna participate.  To save the friendship between him and my man, we didn't make a big deal about it; we figured he was already struggling to cut the umbilical from his family, who were giving him the WORST time ever about moving out (he's 26, btw).  So rent was split 3 ways, between myself, my man, and Sarah.  Meanwhile, her man has been sleeping here multiple times a week, often skipping his shifts for work to sleep/screw here.  Again, not paying rent because he "wasn't living here". Exactly 1 month after we moved in, my man got unexpectedly laid off from his brand new job ON HIS BIRTHDAY.  So, it was up to Sarah and I to keep us afloat. Now, 2 months into our lease. Sarah decided to be stupid and go off her B/C, citing fears of "long-term side effects of putting hormones in your body for years".  I BEGGED HER to use SOMETHING better than the Rhythm method she chose.  Sure enough, she got knocked up her very first cycle.  Now, ever since her 5th week, she's become a stark raving lunatic.  She decided that, come December 1st, she too is breaking our lease to move back home with her mommy and leaving my man and I with the rent. Keep in mind, he just started working yesterday, making minimum wage.  I'm a preschool teacher making $11/hour and F/T.  No way we can make a $1334/mo rent alone.  So Sarah informs us of her plans to move AFTER she's already packed her bathroom.  She decides to move for various reasons; I'm getting married, not enough room for her and her man and the baby (who isn't due until JUNE!!!!), fear of germs and ickyness of our cats (while she keeps 2 pet rats IN HER ROOM), the list goes on.   So I sent her a text, saying that I was very hurt by her behavior of the last couple of weeks (emotional outbursts, then using pregnancy as her excuse, mostly).  I told her I no longer trusted her, and hoped her mommy would always be there, because I may not be.  Of course, she flew off the handle, threatening to move out within the week (which she did) and took the couch (sarcastic gasp), the shower curtain and hooks (sarcastic moan), but left the shower curtain LINER.   Now here's the best part: any party who breaks the lease early is at the mercy of the remaining occupants.  They could choose to be nice and just release the breakers, or make them buy out their share to the tune of whatever the remaining occupants desire.  Naturally, we refuse to let them out without paying SOMETHING.  Now, both of them have gone so far off the deep end, it's ridiculous.  They are calling us every obscene name in the book, threateing to take us to court (another sarcastic gasp), basically throwing massive tantrums. Meanwhile, they are still stuck on the lease, but moved out, so we can get a roomie in there paying their rent, PLUS Sarah and her man's share of the remaining rent to put toward our wedding. So now, Sarah backed out of our wedding, as did her man and good riddance to them both.  I'm glad to be rid of them both, especially after Sarah already purchased her BM dress and cannot return it.  :)  I just cannot believe the woman I knew for nearly 15+ years would turn around and do this.  Now, we're scrambling to find a roommate so we dont' get evicted mid-December.  All I can say is, to hell with them both and their little spawn.
    Posted by CowgirlBride88[/QUOTE]
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    Good luck with that one. Good riddance, but don't blame the babe.

    Require that she pay her third or half (her % of the lease) for part of the lease lenght (1 yr- do like 4 months, 2- like 6-8 months). She's a bwhitch but you don't have to be one back. Be the bigger person. And get a roommate asap.
     Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    I found that it's best to just live alone and not depend on someone else to help pay the bills, because you never know what kind of craziness they are hiding. Hope you don't lose too much of the security deposit and maybe you can recoup through small claims court from these people who seem to have screwed you over.
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    Maybe I read it wrong, but I got the impression you think you can get a new roommate to pay rent and still collect the entire share from Sarah? That would actually not be the case.

    You can collect any difference in the amount received from new roomie and Sarah's share but that's it.

    Also, good riddance, no one needs inconsiderate people like that as friends. You and FI will be much happier without them I'm sure!

    imageWedding Countdown Ticker
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    KMMSSG:  I have no ill feelings toward the baby.  They've just used him/her as an excuse to act like they have.  So since he/she is SOOOOOOO precious to them, they can take it with them.

    WZZ:  Eh?

    Sydaries:  We are requiring them to pay their remaining share. 

    RLMARROC: Reason why we can collect theirs AND rent from a new roomie is a loophole that holds THEM accountable.  While they are trying to fly the coop, we still live there and have nowhere else to go.  So if they just pay up, we won't need to get a roommate and can just keep paying our portion.  If they don't, we have to get a roommate to stay off the street (which they know and don't give a rip about), but they are still on the lease until they pay out, meaning the management still goes after them, anyway.  Either way, they have to pay the remaining amount. Trust me, I'd MUCH rather just get their share and keep the apartment to ourselves. 

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    edited November 2012
    Did it ever occur to you that she may have made a knob of a mistake, and with that she's realizing that she needs to go home to save up for the baby? I'm sensing so much venom towards this child it's ridiculous. Yes they were a bit irresponsible to get pregnant but honestly it's probably in her's and her baby's best interest to move out. I think she should have approached the situation differently but honestly I don't feel that you should have approached her acting all hurt at how she's been. She's pregnant and her world is changing, much like how you're stressed with the wedding I'm sure she's stressed about this pregnancy. You can't not expect her to have a few moments of 'madness' while she could tame it down a bit I feel that you went into attack mode with how you approached her. If you truly valued her as a friend your approach should have been far more gentle and telling her you realize the bind she's in but that you're worried now and was wondering if she would be paying the other half and or find a new renter so that she wouldn't have to pay her share while she wasn't there. I just think by making it all about you and not trying to be a bit more understanding got you the response you did, of her just moving out.

    The fact that you took on a place that you and your FI can't afford to me says a lot as well. Perhaps take this as a big lesson and don't have roommates. You can't rely on roommates sometimes and this can be the end of it. She could feel bad for your situation but if she can't afford it and is looking to save up for baby I think personally that's the best decision she could make for her family right now. It leaves you guys shafted but I think it's apparent you need to find a new place to live at if you can't afford the rent on your own.
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