WWYD?

**O-Face**

This isn't simple, but it's kind of annoying to me.

Friend mentions in an email that she is having a "girls trip" to a place north of where she lives.  I ask about it.

It's the annual memorial trip that they (me being included) do to celebrate a friend's birthday.  Except friend is dead...passed, whatever.  I find it strangely morbid, and was kind of fading on even attending.  BUT, last year I attended, the year before I did too.  This year?  Not so much an invite at all. 

I mean...I might have declined, but an invite would've been nice.

I am not going to make an issue of it, but my feel bads are certainly hurt.  I kind of want to just let her sit in email hell for a few days...though that is rude.

I don't really care at this moment.

zsazsa-stl

They are just jealous of your awesome life and they are bitter and what to have bitter fat lady time together!!!!  <---joking, or maybe not

That is weird.  You would think that if you had been intentionally excluded, though, that she wouldn't have mentioned to you that she is going.  I would have to say something, just for the sake of curiosity.

**O-Face**

Oh, she flat out said "no, you and x were not invited" "I assumed you didn't want to make the drive".  Okay....so let me tell you I don't want to.  Extend the courtesy of an invite.

If I had EVER fathomed doing something silly like this to her...she would be OUTRAGED.  For reals.

I want to email her something like "You can validate your actions all you want, it is hurtful".

Maybe I should just ignore that whole issue?  I don't think I can...so silly, right?

6fsn

Very bizarre.  Sit on it for a bit and maybe send a separate email about it.  Don't let it fester.

DG1

I"m kindof on the spelling it out bandwagon lately, though I admit it would be a little weird here. 

Frankly, your whole "if I did this to her she would be LIVID" thing makes me think a reevaluation of the friendship might be in order. 

**O-Face**

Meh.  We all have friends and accept them for who they are.  I am sure the other girls shamed her into not saying anything and validated to HER that it was okay that we weren't invited.  And now...she let it slip...and GUILTY.  Nice.

I know how this works, and it makes me sad.

zsazsa-stl

Oh, not cool. 

Dear Crappy Friend,

Next time I would like to be included in the decision about it being too far of a drive for me or not.

Sincerely,
O-Face of Awesomeness

**O-Face**

EXACTLY, zsa.  If she's making my decisions for me, I'd like to see what else she'd like me to do.

6fsn

I missed the followup before I posted last.  I'd call her on it. 

MinM

I'd be like, "Yo, FYI, in the future I would appreciate being asked about my willingness to make the drive."

But on the other hand, if you are only going to say no, what is the point in making sure she asks you?

**O-Face**

I don't always say no.  In fact, I don't think I ever have. 

tawillers

If you've always gone before, why would she assume you wouldn't make the drive again?

MinM

Yeah. I am cornfused.

**O-Face**

She knows that I am nearly 300 miles away, and that it takes some planning.  But I am assuming this was planned months in advance.  Like I said, the scenario above with validation, hushing of guilt...I think that occurred.  And I haven't condemned, but I'm letting it simmer before I send her a "WTF?!" email. 

Wzz

i would be bothered by her making the decision for me about the drive.

but i agree with the person who said sit and think about it for a bit before doing anything, and then think about if this is even a friendship worth continuing on with.

what a weirdo. even if you've ever said no (even though you said you haven't said no before), i think it's wrong for someone to assume you would say no, or even use that as an excuse to exclude you.

do you think you might have made someone think that you were not interested in going to this thing, and word got back to her about it?

**O-Face**

I literally hadn't heard a WORD of it until today.  Nothing.  So I was surprised.  I hadn't inquired about the annual trip or get together but I guess I assumed people would include me, or mention something.  But nothing...

I haven't emailed her anything.  I will get back to her tomorrow.  I don't want to worry about it right now...what to say.