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seconds thoughts

cmristaucmristau
in Wedding Woes
so lately i have been having second thoughts about my fiance. he is 21, i'm 25 and i have a 5 yr old son. we don't often have time alone, but when we do all we do is argue, more often he is the one to start it. it's to the point where i don't even like being alone with him because all he does is yell at me. i've tried to explain this to him and talk to him about the issues and the arguing, and every time he just says he's sorry and he doesn't mean to yell. i'm so sick of hearing "I'm sorry". it's like it doesn't even mean anything, it's just a habit to apologize. he has also been getting grumpy with my son and doesn't seem to want to spend the time with him like he use to. there are days when my 5 yr old acts more mature than my fiance.

Any advice?
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Re: seconds thoughts

  • TheDuckisTheDuckis member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Dump him.
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  • MissyCeeMissyCee member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    umm you really need advice here? I'm not one to get nasty with people but seriously, this is obvious. Get rid of him. Obviously you don't like spending time with him, so why are you? Why would you subject your child to your constant arguing? If for no other reason, you need to leave him for the sake of your son. It's in his best interest to not hear mom and dad fighting all the time and not deal with dad being mean to him.
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  • gizzle11*11*11gizzle11*11*11
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If you are unwilling to throw it all away have you considered couples or family counseling? He might be going through something personal and is covering with rude behavior. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
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  • jojobrnjojobrn member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_seconds-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:53069671-6d2d-4bc2-baf1-251cbda22d26Post:6988c5b4-24b1-43da-9382-0f0f5d8e5eac">Re: seconds thoughts</a>:
    [QUOTE]If you are unwilling to throw it all away have you considered couples or family counseling? He might be going through something personal and is covering with rude behavior. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!
    Posted by gizzle11*11*11[/QUOTE]

    <div>OP, ignore this. If you have to get counseling just to stand being in the same room as someone, you should not marry that person. It isn't supposed to be that hard. For you and your child, dump him.</div>
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  • BeeBee22BeeBee22 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definitely dump him -- if not for your sake, then for your son's. Why in the world would you take on an abusive husband/stepfather? That's what that yelling/sorry thing is - a verbally abusive relationship. 

    Protect your son and yourself by getting rid of his guy. You are young and have your life ahead of you. Your son needs you to think of him first.
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