Wedding Woes
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Adopted and Family Roles

Any one have advice on biological families and including them?

Re: Adopted and Family Roles

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    edited December 2011
    I'm not I completely understand the relationships here, but wouldn't the spouse of a biological brother simply be considered your close friend? And if so, there's nothing wrong with her being in your bridal party. After all, she's there as your close friend, not family (meaning no need for your biological sister).

    As for incorporating your biological mom, you could have her enter the church/venue/whatever with you, then hand you to whomever is walking you down the aisle. If you are still unsure what to do with your other biological relatives, you can have reserved seats for them in the front. 
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    edited December 2011
    While I'm not adopted, my younger sister is.  Although it's unlikely that she ever contacts her birth family since it was an international adoption, I can't imagine showing preference to the birth family over the adoptive family.  (For a variety of reasons, I can't stand the saying "blood is thicker than water").  I'd choose the people who I felt closer to, and wouldn't pick people because of a sense of obligation.
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    flower_divaflower_diva member
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    edited December 2011
    you need to ask your adoptive Mom how she feels about all of this. Be very very careful of the choices you make as the hurt feelings can last a lifetime.
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    edited December 2011
    My biological family won't be anything more then guests. I appreciate the sacrifice they made for me... but they didn't raise me.

    My Mother and Father are the people that raised me, and loved me. The people who took care of me when I was sick, and supported me when no one else would...

    So my preference (for me) is that I will only ever have one set of parents, and those will be the ones involved in my ceremony. I could never speak for other people and their situations... it's such a sensitive subject... and every persons situation can be so different!
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    mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know your relationship with them, it is really up to what you decide you want their role to be in your wedding. 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_adopted-family-roles?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:58e86b34-89db-42c3-a1e7-74864c09975bPost:e530e44b-784c-462b-857a-b88b28d23d18">Adopted and Family Roles</a>:
    [QUOTE]Any one have advice on biological families and including them?
    Posted by Carrie H[/QUOTE]
    I would think that it depends on your relationships with all involved.

    I can't speak too much to adoption specifically, but I have had to navigate something similar, not due to adoption, but divorce.  To make a long story as short as possible, my biological mom was my dad's second wife (his first wife died).  They divorced before I was a year old and I was raised by my dad and his third wife, who married when I was two.  For all intents and purposes, I consider my dad's wife my mom.  She and my dad raised me, and she's always treated me as one of her own (I also have two younger siblings I grew up with). 

    I didn't meet bio mom or my siblings or other relatives on her side of the family until two years ago.  My mom has encouraged me to get to know my bio mom and other family members and incorporate them into my life and the wedding.  My dad passed away over four years ago.  And as for my bio mom and siblings, they've been excited to get to know me, but they do respect the special role the family I did grow up with played in my life.    So my bio mom and siblings will be invited to the wedding, but special roles will be for the family I grew up with. 

    Each family dynamic is different, and so I don't know if my situation will help or not, because you haven't gone into enough detail.  All I can say is that you have to consider your own situation as far as your birth and adopted family are concerned.
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