True Life: I'm too young for my boyfriend

loveshine1

Wow.

16 year old with a 21 year old boyfriend. Is it just me, or is something wrong with the 21 year old who wants to date a 16 year old? The girl's mom looked like she was quite the whore, and she let her 16 year old daughter go to Cancun with the 21 year old. 21 year old gets mad when 16 year old dances with another guy at Senor Frogs and leaves her on the side of the road.

Then there was an 18 year old dating a 21 year old, and then a 24 year old. Both were total winners. She kept getting into it with her mom because her mom thought she was being ridiculous.

DG1

Sounds like the 21yo had the maturity of a 16yo. They were probably MFEO.

baconsmom

I was gonna say, I knew plenty of early 20-somethings who had the maturity of 14-y-olds, so. 

tiffanycdemeo

i think it depends on the individuals.  if the maturity level is the same and the priorites are the same than it typically isnt an issue.  but when they are together for all the wrong reasons and the relationship does more harm psychologically than good than it is an issue.  it is about one's upbringing that can make one more mature as well.  for example i personally am much younger than my fh (8 years difference) but through my upbringing i was more mature due to family issues and always feeling like i was an adult.  for this reason and having the same priorities as my fh the age gap diminishes

ReturnOfKuus

I don't think it depends on the individuals at all.

MinM

tiffany - a 21 y/o dating a 16 y/o is ILLEGAL.

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_true-life-im-young-boyfriend?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:59bbabf0-e675-4fe5-91a6-fe591dd1946fPost:c621bb57-b44d-4136-aeaa-e1e0639c403d">Re: True Life: I'm too young for my boyfriend</a>:
[QUOTE]tiffany - a 21 y/o dating a 16 y/o is ILLEGAL.
Posted by MinM[/QUOTE]
And that's bullshit, so let's delete that from the equation, shall we? Thanks. <div>
</div><div>Kuus, why doesn't it? Haven't you ever met a 21 or 22-y-o who acted like he was 12? I really think individual maturities matter quite a bit. </div>

TheDuckis

Yes, but bmom, don't you think there's something Seriously Wrong with a 21-22yo with the maturity level of a 16 yo? We're not just talking about giggling over fart jokes. High school mentality and early adult mentality should be extremely different. If they're not, I think it suggests something majorly wrong with the older party, and it's emotionally stunting to the younger party.

I say this as someone who dated a 24 year old when I was 18. Sure it was legal, and it was probably less of a maturity gap than 16-21 but it was still incredibly unhealthy. Incredibly.

baconsmom

Not necessarily. I don't see 16-y-olds as terribly immature, and I've never seen 21-y-olds as terribly mature. I had 17 and 18-y-o friends when I was 21; we were not that far apart in interests, problems, life experience, etc. 

Maybe I'm still really immature, I don't know. It doesn't strike me as odd or problematic on its face. 

Going to Cancun? That's not cool. But the mere fact of the dating doesn't faze me.