bridesmaid HELP!!

kgrav2

Hi everyone.. Maybe some of you can help me out on this. Somewhat of a long story, but i'll do my best.

I have been best friends with my MOH since fourth grade, so over a 14 year time span, as well as one of my other bridesmaids (I only have three including MOH). My MOH has been enthusiastic about everything until this point, including dress shopping. Well, we finally BOTH settled on a bridesmaid dress that was really cute and would be a flattering style on everyone, so all three girls got fitted and ordered their dresses. Two months later, the dresses are in and my MOH and other bridesmaid are flipping their lids over them because they don't fit perfectly and the pickups in the skirt don't look exactly as the picture shows. I have tried and tried to reassure them that it can be fixed (they were going to have to have them altered anyway since they were going to be too big/small in certain areas). I know that there are several very talented seamstresses in our area and they can work magic to make them look perfect and exactly how you wanted it. In my mind, this is an easily fixed issue, while upsetting, but no reason to flip out. Well, long story short, I am getting cursed at, yelled at, etc by these two girls because of this. I even had the third girl (who I should say has been completely supportive of me throughout this entire process and is FINE with the dress and any alterations needed) send her mom to the dress store (I'm not from the area that it's located in and she is) armed with pictures of these two in their dresses. The ladies at this store have been nothing but nice about the situation and tried to help me. They said that these dresses were ordered too small and should've been bigger, which is why the pickups are all stretched out across their waistlines and just look awful. I tried to tell the girls in a very nice, tactful way the dresses needed to be let out just a little for the pickups to settle and that we can remove the crinoline layer underneath and they should be fine. All I have gotten is more angry words, denials that its not their faults but mine, etc. I'm strongly considering asking them to leave the bridal party but I realize that in doing so, it's most likely going to ruin my long friendships with them. I'm getting married May 5, so it's going haywire and I'm extremely frustrated right now.

Does anyone have any words of advice?? It'd be greatly appreciated!!

ReturnOfKuus

This is really bizarre.  I could see if it were one person losing her mind over an ill-fitting dress, but two of them?  I suspect that there is a missing piece here between them receiving the dresses and finding they don't fit properly, and them yelling and cursing at you.

StephBeanWed61502

You mentioned the issue is that the dresses are too tight.... could they have gained weight and now they're being defensive hoarbags about it?

Alternatively, did they ever get a chance to try the dress on before ordering it?  Who did the actual ordering - you, or them?  I'm trying to figure out if they're mad at you for ordering the "wrong" size/picking the "wrong" dress (not saying you did, just trying to figure if this is what they're thinking).

Also, is there any chance they've hated the dress all along, but were trying to be good sports about it, and now have changed their minds about the whole "being a good sport" thing?

Last possibility - the dress was at the very top of the budget they said they were comfortable with, and they can't afford alterations?

KatoNorway

Did you place the orders? Even if so, the info you gave does not warrant a tongue lashing. There's got to be more to this story...

KatoNorway

Is there any way you can return the dresses and exchange the store credit for a completely new dress?

RaptorSLH

*Are* they the right size?  Did they send the wrong size dresses?

I'm with Steph - this behavior is so far out of line that for multiple bridesmaids to be acting this way, I feel like we're missing a key part of the story.  Either that, or you seriously need to reevaluate the way you choose your "friends."

kgrav2

They picked their own sizes, I did absolutely nothing but sit there and watch them try them on in the store in front of the big mirror on the wall. My MOH and I both agreed on three different styles of dresses to choose from, and they collectively settled on the one they ordered. I was fine with it, and they all got measured by the same person and ordered their size based on the options they had with their measurements. They knew beforehand that it was going to have to be altered, such as being taken in in the chest or the waist. The store confirmed that the sizes they received is what they had ordered. I'm just as confused as you guys are because I've never seen this behavior coming from them before EVER. I had even told them multiple times that if they didn't like any of the dresses, I was cool with it and we could continue to shop anywhere for something different. I have been nothing but honest with these girls ever since I asked them to be a part of my wedding that if there was anything they didn't like or couldn't afford or ANYTHING, they could tell me and we would work something out.

kgrav2

and Steph.. I'm starting to think you're right about the weight gain thing because they honestly both have told me they've gained weight over the holidays.. who knows? i try to give people the benefit of the doubt.