Close to breakdown

bonvivanti

First, thank you so much for reading this. This may seem trivial but it's getting to me. My bach is planned for this weekend and my mom offered to buy dinner for the group which totals 7 girls to lessen the cost of the whole w/e. Now when I'm telling the girls what restaurant I'm looking at and what time they've been coming back with 'that's too early' or 'how about this restaurant.' Funny, the restaurants they are suggesting are quite pricey. My mother paid for the majority of my bridal shower and I'm feeling like both she and I are getting taken advantage of.

Not only that on Saturday the bach plans completely changed because I asked a question about ease in transporation and the MOH went off the handle and canceled our hotel. I asked about transport because one of the bridesmaids with a car did not want to drive and wanted me to. They got the plans back on track but the bridesmaid that didn't want to drive sent out an email saying that plans changed because I am a 'perfectionist' and let's do something nice for our 'diva bride.'

Let me digress, think of everything that a bridesmaid could possibly do and I only asked that they buy a dress, show-up to the wedding and assist my mom with the bare minimum for the bridal shower. They didn't even have to come shopping (or even offer) with me for anything.

I cried for hours on Saturday because I feel so alone and don't know what words to use. All of these things have just built up and I don't know what to do because I feel like I'm going to break.

Thanks for listening.

clarissaarielleclackum

Oh I'm so sorry! That sounds awful... It sounds like you need to take the reins back control wise and let them know you'll make final decisions from now on. And definitely be honest with them. I wouldn't appreciate them walking all over me and my mom either, and I'd tell them the place you and your mom picked together and the time. If they don't like it they don't have to show up. You shouldn't have to deal with extra drama from your wedding party just to make them happy. What about you? It sounds a little like they have forgotten the whole reason they were put together. Which is for your wedding! 

Take deep breaths and be more assertive with them. It sounds like that could help set things back in place for you. 

elinormariebrown

I agree!  I am so sorry this is happening to you.  I think many brides feel the same way.  I suggest that you talk to the girls and tell them why you or your mother chose the place you want to go to.  If they really are there to support you they will understand and may offer to pitch in.  I have had the exact same problem when my college friends get together.  Not everyone earns as much as a few and the few forget that when it is time to go out.

Hang in there and hug your guy!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_close-to-breakdown?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:5ce72d9c-fc59-46ab-be06-b0ebb37237bcPost:75ee0a0e-1041-459b-af3b-1464f6e32b12">Close to breakdown</a>:
[QUOTE]First, thank you so much for reading this. This may seem trivial but it's getting to me. My bach is planned for this weekend and my mom offered to buy dinner for the group which totals 7 girls to lessen the cost of the whole w/e. Now when I'm telling the girls what restaurant I'm looking at and what time they've been coming back with 'that's too early' or 'how about this restaurant.' Funny, the restaurants they are suggesting are quite pricey. My mother paid for the majority of my bridal shower and I'm feeling like both she and I are getting taken advantage of. Not only that on Saturday the bach plans completely changed because I asked a question about ease in transporation and the MOH went off the handle and canceled our hotel. I asked about transport because one of the bridesmaids with a car did not want to drive and wanted me to. They got the plans back on track but the bridesmaid that didn't want to drive sent out an email saying that plans changed because I am a 'perfectionist' and let's do something nice for our 'diva bride.' Let me digress, think of everything that a bridesmaid could possibly do and I only asked that they buy a dress, show-up to the wedding and assist my mom with the bare minimum for the bridal shower. They didn't even have to come shopping (or even offer) with me for anything. I cried for hours on Saturday because I feel so alone and don't know what words to use. All of these things have just built up and I don't know what to do because I feel like I'm going to break. Thanks for listening.
Posted by bonvivanti[/QUOTE]

Wzz

do these women often have an attitude when they speak to you? i much prefer when my friends and family speak without a tone of sarcasm and condescension.

ETA, your friends are rude. try to enjoy yourself.

bonvivanti

Hi Ladies,

Thank you so much for your input: I truly appreciate it.

Thanks again,
BonV