Wedding Woes

Help! Wedding in a month and I need to pay back a gift.

Unfriendlies need not apply, LOL.

My wedding is in a month and is completely paid for. My mom paid for our reception, and my fiance and I are paying for everything else like honeymoon, transportation, and if there is a balance at the end of the night. This was her (very generous) gift to us, and she seemed happy to give this money to us for our wedding. She gave this to us a couple of months ago and we used it to pay off the reception. We never asked for it, she just came out and said she had the extra money and wanted us to have a nice wedding. It totally changed our budget and we went with a place that was better than we were planning on after she gave us the gift. But now I think she regrets giving us this money because she has been asking to borrow money from me at least once a week even though she knows we are working on a budget with the upcoming wedding. She brings up the fact that she gave us this money and if she never gave us this money she would have it in the bank to use - but we never asked for it. I would gladly give it back to her if we had it on hand. I told her that I could start paying her back AFTER the wedding and we come back from our honeymoon, but she said it won't help get her bills paid now. I really regret even accepting this gift because I feel guilty like I took money away from her that she could have used herself. I don't know what to do because we'll lose money by cancelling, but I don't know how I can enjoy the day without feeling the guilt of not being able to give this money back to my mom right away. I am not sure what to do. My fiance thinks it is mean that she would give us a gift and expect it back, but she said she needs the money. Any advice might be helpful.

Re: Help! Wedding in a month and I need to pay back a gift.

  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    It was mean for her to give the gift and ask for it back.  My guess is she feels bad about asking for it back (unless she's a special breed of mom).  Do your best and set up a payment plan.
  • Screw that.  She gave you money, free and clear and you spent it on what she gave it to you for.  Shoot, if she couldn't give it, she should've been a big girl and said she can't donate any money to your wedding, I'm terribly sorry.  Or donated less.

    The rest of her money problems are not your problems.  If you can help out and want to, do.  Heck, if you can help out and want to after the honeymoon, do it then.  But she's an adult, she needs to take care of her business.
  • I agree 100% with Varuna. Your mom is an adult and shuold be able to manage her finances better. if she could not afford to give a gift, she should not have given it.

    "mom, the money that you gave was a gift and was spent on the wedding. I do not have room in my current budget to assist you in paying your bills." end of discussion. hang up/walk away
  • "The money was a gift, Mom.  I'm taking it with me."
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  • This sounds like something my Mom would do.. She gave me money in our engagement card, but later that day needed to borrow some money from me.... Obviously yours is a much more severe situation.  
    255313_3528328290997_1532703995_n
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