A thank you

thatgrrrrl

to all of you for your support and encouragement yesterday. You have no idea how much I appreciate it and how much it means to me. I saved the link so I can look back when I hit a hump.

Hmo, I'm using your suggestion of taking it a week at a time.

loveshine1

I just caught up on this, and I have to agree with hmo about taking it a week at a time.

Also, PLEASE talk to your doctor about PPD or D. It sounds to me (JMO) that these issues run a lot deeper than just breastmilk supply issues.

I know it's hard, but don't beat yourself up about this. Formula or breastmilk are both excellent sources of nutrition for your sweet girl. She will grow and learn and be fantastic no matter which you choose to give her for her first year of life. Many of us were not breastfed, and we turned out healthy and fine.

hmonkey

for real, yo.  setting the goal at a year was (one of) my biggest mistake(s).  dh was so encouraging when i made it to a month, but i kept crying that i couldn't do it 12 more times.  

a year still seems really, really far away.  but the end of the week doesn't seem that far at all.

the other thing to consider is that minnie could self-wean in a month and your plans to nurse for a year would be over anyway.  who knows what will happen within the year -- other than to do the best you can?

as for the hospital grade pump, be sure you are getting the correct size flanges -- for comfort and for max output.  you don't want there to be any rubbing (comfort) or blocking any ducts (output).

you might want to reconsider buying the enfamil from costco if you are just supplementing.  the formula has to be used within a month of opening (otherwise it loses nutrients).  we supplement with formula too, and we don't go through a costco-size amount in a month. 

at four weeks, you have a mature supply.  pumping after nursing will help boost your supply.  so will oatmeal and almond milk.  avoid herbs like sage and mint, especially mint.  but you also need to consider that you may simply be a low-supplier and may always need to supplement -- and that is not a big deal. 

for some babies, nursing isn't about nourishment -- it's about being the closeness and the bond.  it may change as minnie gets older.  some kids don't want to nurse, but they want to get in the nursing position and just snuggle.  baby mo used to nurse 40 minutes but now that he's older, it's five minutes a side and then he's done -- done with nursing, done with me.  it's all  back-arching and getting away to play.

it will get better but please take all the steps you need to make it better.  see your ob for post partum help, and talk to your family and friends about any support you need.  oh, and us too!

tawillers

::hugs::

GBCK

I"m behind but, definately keep on the small goals.  You can make them longer.  (I'll also say, it gets easier)

Here's a mostly unhelpful thought...do you want donor milk?  because, uh, it may be creepy from an imaginary friend, but I have some extra if it'd make this easier/better for you.  Except shipping costs are obnoxious.

thatgrrrrl

I appreciate the offer, GBCK. We did use donor milk the first day that DD was home because we were finger feeding her and my milk hadn't come in yet so I'm not that skeeved by the idea. I think what I"m going to do is give her whatever I can pump and use my small freezer stash and continue to supplement with formula. Whatever BM she's getting no matter how little the amount is still good.

nicoleg1982

I would also consider BFing her just in the a.m. and p.m.  You both get the bonding, she gets the milk, and it alleviates the stress of pumping for you.

MiddlesexFells

I forgot all about finger feeding! I did that, too. I have a scrapbook page in my album with all the ways I tried: imagine trying to feed a two week old from a cup!

It will, will, will get better! (And finger feeding hurts like heck, too, doesn't it?!)