Dear Prudie

loveshine1

Q. Neighbor Problem: I am a man in his 20s. I have a great life and girlfriend, and I can't think of the last time a problem truly stumped me like this one has. I live in a condominium complex and have a neighbor, "Samantha," who I am not close with but share hellos with when I see her in the elevator, hallway, etc. We both know each other's names and chat on occasion, but that is about it. Well, a few months ago I was awakened by "Samantha" to be, what sounded like, in the throes of passion in her bedroom (which is across the wall from mine). It was loud enough to wake me from a dead sleep and continued for several agonizing minutes. Now if this had been a onetime thing, I would not be writing to you, but for several months this has been happening multiple times a week anytime between 3 a.m. and 5 a.m. Each time I am jolted from sleep (for it is quite a vocal performance, to say the least). Moving is out of the question, for I own my condo, and I am her only neighbor as well. Is there a way to solve this without making it any more awkward than it already is?

6fsn

3 and 5 seems like an odd time.  It's seems to early or too late for sex.

 maybe Kuus needs to think about oddball time so she doesn't get caught again.

nicoleg1982

I must say, regardless of the hour, I'm quite jealous of Samantha's escapades.

ReturnOfKuus

Has he tried banging on the wall and yelling at her to keep it down, old person style?

AuntFlo

I used to have a neighbor who got a good screwing every Monday morning around 5am.   Everyweek.   Like clockwork.   I don't know if her husband left for the week for some strange job situation or what.   She was a very quiet neighbor other than that.

nicoleg1982

I, too, once had neighbors who got it on every a.m. after the alarm went off.  Never lasted very long at all.  So sad.

loveshine1

A: Passionate neighbors are a perennial problem. Other readers have said that anonymous notes pushed under the door have worked wonders. Something like: "We're happy that you're having so much fun in bed, but please respect that your early morning passion is ruining the time in bed for those of us who are just sleeping. So when you go at it, please keep it down."

6fsn

How would that note be annymous?  It's just not face to face.

nicoleg1982

I know he says he is the only neighbor, but what about the people above/below her?  Would they not hear it as well?

6fsn

I just assumed he hears because of the shared wall and above and below would be muffled.  I've never really lived with shared walls though.

hmonkey

dh and i once heard the people next door getting it on for three minutes.  we giggled and giggled.

nicoleg1982

I once lived next to a couple who would have sex on the stairs from their garage to their flat upstairs.  I never thought sex on carpeted stairs would be so fun.  Also, that shared wall was right next to the sink in the kitchen.  I heard stair sex a lot more than I anticipated.

DG1

Someone pointed out the lack of anonymity to Prudie, who admits she missed it in the original letter.  Oops!  (kindof critical for an internet advice columnist - she misses stuff like that a lot.)