Fiance not close with his family, doesn't want them at the wedding

Kat112379

Hi guys,

This is my first post.  I am getting married in a few months to a very shy man who suffers from incredible stage fright.  Saying his vows in front of people freaks him out, it doesn't matter if they are close friends, family, whatever.  As a result, we're keeping the ceremony very intimate with just our immediate family and best, best friends.  My fiance and his mother are estranged and he has never been super close with his aunts or cousins so he's thinking about not inviting any of them to the ceremony.  I am worried that it will be weird with just my family present and that he might regre it later.  He says he won't.  Should I insist on inviting his side at the risk of making him more uncomforable on the day, or just let it go?  Does any one else out there have a shy guy?  How are you dealing with the stage fright?  Thanks in advance for your advice! 

tawillers

My husband was in charge of inviting who he wanted from his side.  It was completely up to him.

ReturnOfKuus

Stop trying to mother him.  He's a grown man - he knows better than you do whether or not he'd regret not inviting his family.

Wonderw1fe

Let it go. It's better that he regret not having them than resent you for forcing him to perform in front of people he doesn't like. Stop thinking of how things should be and work with out things are.

Kat112379

Wow, that was fast! Thanks guys.  I'm just gonna relax about it.  I think I just needed someone to give me an objective opinion. 

TheDuckis

1. Stage fright to the point that his own wedding freaks him out is cause for concern, and possibly therapy.

2. Don't project your concerns or prossible regrets onto him. Even if he does come to regret it, its his decision to live with.

Cant_wait!

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_fiance-not-close-his-family-doesnt-want-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:6c35f0a2-6951-4c21-8197-3d412bfc80d6Post:101c219d-a8ec-4ab2-91ce-d663b5b6d697">Fiance not close with his family, doesn't want them at the wedding</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi guys, This is my first post.  I am getting married in a few months to a very shy man who suffers from incredible stage fright.  Saying his vows in front of people freaks him out, it doesn't matter if they are close friends, family, whatever.  As a result, we're keeping the ceremony very intimate with just our immediate family and best, best friends.  My fiance and his mother are estranged and he has never been super close with his aunts or cousins so he's thinking about not inviting any of them to the ceremony.  I am worried that it will be weird with just my family present and that he might regre it later.  He says he won't.  Should I insist on inviting his side at the risk of making him more uncomforable on the day, or just let it go?  Does any one else out there have a shy guy?  How are you dealing with the stage fright?  Thanks in advance for your advice! 
Posted by Kat112379[/QUOTE]

baconsmom

Can't Wait, you are now officially my favorite. You can send me candy to thank me. 

[Deleted User]

Let it go. I wouldn't push it.

Zooloo

I did not invite any of my extended family to the wedding, and I will not regret it.  I never speak to them now, so what is the difference?  Let him make his own choice about it.

awesome-sauce

He's made a decision.

You want to know if you should try to change his decision.

Do not try to change his decision.

I agree with Wonderwife on this: It's better that he regret not having them than resent you for forcing him to perform in front of people he doesn't like.