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Retro jealousy spinoff poll

Besides the obvious kinds of things (he murdered or raped someone etc.), what sorts of things in a person's past would make you rule them out as a potential SO?  I'm looking for the kinds of things you'd be fine with in a friend, but wouldn't date.
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Re: Retro jealousy spinoff poll

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    edited December 2011
    STDs & infidelity are the first things that come to mind. Also, fiscal irresposibility & banana-colored BM dresses.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    kids were a dealbreaker.  I dated one guy with a kid for a short time.  It was too much baggage all around.
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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    the Mr's taste in *WHO* he slept w/ caused me to raise hackles a bit.
    I got over it but, it showed poor judgement and gave me pause.
    (Kuus likely remembers but I don't feel like the judgement of explaing it today)
    And it meant I had to make sure he didn't have STDs.  If he would have, well, that would have been a bighairydeal to me.

    $ issues also give me pause. (and did w/ the Mr.  hmmm)
     
    Family issues give me pause--not if they have them but if they don't handle them--as in, if evil-gma-IL's opinion and stupidity had influenced the Mr. or tried to suck us into the drama and he'd have LET it?  I'd not be w/ him.  (I'll also say, he's very close to his mom but it's not a problem.  If he was not on speakingn terms w/ his family, well, that's a red flag too sometimes)

    I will say, if the Mr. were to drop dead tomorrow and I was looking to date, psych issues (including 'minor' things like anxiety and depression) would give me pause. 
    And I"m well aware of how bitchy that may sound, all things considered


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    GBCKGBCK member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    oh, w/ 6 on the kids thing...
    but kow what was more of a dealbreaker than a guy w/ kids?

    a guy who HID that he had kids. 
    (I found out a few dates in that someone had kids and they were immediately off the list.  I *might* have dated the right guy who was upfront about kids.  But if your kids are such a minor part of your life that they don't come up in conversation, there is no next date because you're a lousy parent.  And if they're important enough to mention and you hid them, you're trying to 'trick' me into dating you w/ kids which makes you a lousy parent.
    I don't date lousy parents)
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    loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Having an ex-wife or an ex-girlfriend who they have had kids with are deal breakers for me. No matter what, there's usually some sort of drama or crazy happening there. If it were just an ex-wife, I could probably learn to deal with it, but when kids get involved, I think it becomes a much more difficult situation.

    Also, STDs, drug use, not having a steady job, more than one ex-wife, etc.

     
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    hmonkeyhmonkey member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    stds, money issues, lack of a stable job, weird housing siutation (no roommates or living in some kind of frat house situation), parent issues, terrible pets.
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    dharmabunnydharmabunny member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Hmmm,

    Prior drug use and alcohol abuse.  Definitely financial problems, substantial credit card debt, job motivation/career track (or lack thereof).  STD's would heavily depend on what exactly was contracted.  BSC ex-wives that are owed alimony or child support payments.  Back then, kids too.
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    nicoleg1982nicoleg1982 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    All of the above.  Smoking.  An occasional cigar here and there doesn't bother me, but daily cigarette smoking was a dealbreaker.  

    While it's purely hypocritical now, I am still on the "no kids" side of the fence.
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't rule out a man with children, but I would rule out a man who didn't spend time with his children and pay child support on time.

    Terrible financial sense to the point of ruin

    Someone who couldn't accept my past

    Someone who was cruel to animals

    Someone who was cruel to people in general

    Someone with a super crazy ex
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    loveshine1loveshine1 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes to the smoking. Gross. And having animals, both the furry kind and anything that would qualify as an 'exotic' pet.

    Also, lack of financial responsibility, debt, things like that. And being over 30 and not having a stable housing situation.
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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Oh, and most addictions. Not just drugs or alcohol, but gambling, porn, video games
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    baconsmombaconsmom member
    5 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Kids.

     I once dated a guy until I found out he'd had a white-power phase in his youth; though he claimed it was over, I couldn't believe that. Do racists ever change their stripes? 

    STDs. DUIs. Joining a cult. Anything that bespeaks a weakness of character that's more than youthful indiscretion, KWIM? 
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    edited December 2011
    Mine used to be no kids, but at my age it's getting harder and harder to find.
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Baby mommas, alchoholic or former drug addict, jail time, or someone who slept with this one particular friend of mine...

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    Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe the one is a disease riddled skank?
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_retro-jealousy-spinoff-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:6d6262fd-c5f4-4db8-b521-55e047af8b2aPost:3751f452-71d0-416a-b458-a32976b9e86c">Re: Retro jealousy spinoff poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]So someone who'd slept with other friends of yours would be fair game?  ;)
    Posted by ReturnOfKuus[/QUOTE]

    Well, it wouldn't be an automatic dealbreaker, you know?   But really - this one friend is the only one of my friends that is/was a complete whore.     :)

    It would be like:  
    Guy slept with Kuus?  Eh - OK, NBD.  
    Guy slept with nicoleg?   DEALBREAKER!

    ;)
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    AuntFloAuntFlo member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_retro-jealousy-spinoff-poll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:6d6262fd-c5f4-4db8-b521-55e047af8b2aPost:d15f2fa6-f854-4325-b1f0-0a38bf958cb5">Re: Retro jealousy spinoff poll</a>:
    [QUOTE]Maybe the one is a disease riddled skank?
    Posted by Butter Cookie[/QUOTE]

    Yes!
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    ReturnOfKuusReturnOfKuus member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    So someone who'd slept with other friends of yours would be fair game?  ;)
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