MIL is unbelievable.

LnR70707

This is going to sound pretty damn cold-hearted, but it is hard to be all soft and supportive of someone who clearly doesn't give a damn about their own health.

Within the past month MIL has been diagnosed with:

Macular degeneration - freaked the F out and told everyone she was going blind, it was the first time she'd ever been to the eye doctor...she has a follow up in 6 months.  I have a family history of it as well, a leading cause in increase of degenerative speed is smoking....

Melanoma - not sure what stage, but she goes in for surgery this week to evaluate an area on her nose where they removed a cancerous mole.

She is still smoking!!   It isn't my place to say anything (though I've thought about it anyway, I know we'll come to blows over smoking in front of my kid) and I realize she is an adult that makes her own choices, but you can bet your a$$ if this was my family there would be a major intervention.   Hell, smoking can f_ck up your surgery recovery alone!   It is so frustrating, and I know DH is worried, but everyone tiptoes around the issue.  How can she light up without hating herself for choosing to shorten her own life?

**O-Face**

I feel you.

My mother has been a smoker for over 40 years.  And whenever she comes down with "bronchitis" I  just shake my head. 

loveshine1

I hate smoking. And I used to smoke.

There is no getting someone to quit. They'll quit when and if they're ready.

AuntFlo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_mil-unbelievable?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:6e0a2d70-6a38-4510-8cb7-e426868de175Post:dae7585b-e4ce-48ea-991f-a27638ea36ba">Re: MIL is unbelievable.</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no getting someone to quit. They'll quit when and if they're ready.
Posted by loveshine1[/QUOTE]


^^this^^

I'm sure she is well aware of the harm cigarettes are doing to her.

DG1

How do you know she doesn't hate herself?

I'm as anti-smoking as they come, but I am aware that it is a real physical addiction that you can't just turn off.

baconsmom

She's anxious and not feeling great and an addict. What did you expect her to do, honestly? I wouldn't expect her to quit. Hell, if I got word I had something potentially fatal, my first stop would probably be for a pack of cigarettes. Because if I *did* die, I'd hate to not have smoked again (I love it that much). (Of course, I would probably stop at one pack, because of course it will interfere with treatment. But I can understand why she hasn't quit.) 

NOLABridesmaid

Everyone is different. My dad quit smoking the day he found out he had lung cancer and never smoked again. Sadly, it was too late.

I hope she starts to value her health before it's too late.

zsazsa-stl

Tell her to check into icaps vitamins.  My mom was diagnosed with early stage macular degeneration and was able to reverse some of it over a year with icaps. Her doctor told her that it doesn't work on everyone, but it was worth a try.

ReturnOfKuus

Fun fact: Mama Kuus's girlfriend C had this, and smoked like it was going out of style.

*Barbie*

FIL had to have a quadruple bypass (this was before i knew DK) - and his doctor told him that if he didn't stop smoking, it would kill him.

He stopped that day, after being a pack (or more) a day smoker for 40+ years.

Your MIL will smoke until she's ready to quit or it kills her. The only thing you can do is enforce her not  smoking around you/the baby.

hmonkey

a dr friend once told me about a patient, an alcoholic.  he told patient that patient had to stop drinking or discuss end of life plans.  he used to get letters from the patient, asking about the health benefits of a glass of red wine and could patient please please please just have a drink (like one glass was all patient wanted).