Really?!?! What was FI thinking?!?!

Sweet_Adeline

So, big yay for FI, he finally sat down and did his side of the guest list.  So... I'm reading over it and I see the name of one of his ex flings!  Not just an ex fling, but someone he moved OUT OF STATE to help get over (which is what brought him to Seattle, which I'm happy about).

His reasoning was that she's friends with the group of friends he had in Vegas, and all the others are getting invites, and that she's married, and that she probably wouldn't come anyway.  Am I waaay out of line for telling him absolutely not, no way, no how?  I would NEVER invite someone else I had been intimate with to OUR wedding!!!!  It doesn't feel like jealousy, it feels more just, inappropriate?

Anyway, she's now NOT on the guestlist.

melissa82

I guess it would depend on their relationship now. If H were still friends with an ex and they had mutual friends in common, saw each other somewhat often, she was totally over him/in a relationship, sure. It just depends on the relationship, I think. I'm pretty laid back, I don't think it would faze me too much.

BUT it doesn't really sound like he's even friends with this person anymore? In that case, I'd not invite her. There's no reason, and I think she'd probably think it was really weird.

niq24601

I've seen this go either way. I think a lot depends on how they get along today. I invited one of my-ex GFs, who I see like twice a year now and we get along just fine, and didn't invite the other, who I refused to talk to for about six years and now only barely get along with.

I had guests that were in a friend group where I ended up not inviting some of them. It definitely feels awkward but sometimes it's the right call. If they literally never see each other or if it's awkward when they talk it's probably better if she's not there.

enlightened1

Just my opinion, but HELL NO! If you're already questioning it, I say no way. Your day is not about giving people invites to make them feel included, especially if 1. you don't want them to come, and 2. they probably won't come anyways!

sarack

I agree with pp, if he is still friends with her and they see eachother pretty often and are completely over eachother, fine, invite her. If not, don't send her an invite.

mgoss228

I agree with pp.  No reason to invite her if FI and she never see/talk to each other.  Sometimes you can't invite whole groups of friends, and someone will be left out, just a part of life.

jennlin

if you're not comfortable with it, then no. regardless if they are BFF's or not...if she is a really good "friend" of his, and is not invited because his wife doesn't like it, then she shold understand. if she doesn't understand, then she's not a good friend to him anyway.

SoonToBeSweet

Good for you. Soooo inappropriate!