Hi Knotties, I am in need of some advice, but in order for you to understand, I must first share the painful story of our wedding.
We had spent over a year and a half carefully and strategically planning our tightly budgeted wedding. We were relieved to have booked all of our vendors on the iconic day 10/10/10; although, a few weeks after booking, our reception’s event coordinator contacted me saying that she accidently double booked the day, we were second and therefore had to change venues or dates. We were both in love with the venue, and the coordinator offered us a sizeable discount, so we changed our date. Luckily, all of our vendors were available for the new day.
After being together for five years, we were both so excited for our day to finally be here. We had chosen a beautiful park with a lovely hand carved gazebo for our ceremony, but a few days before the wedding we saw a grim outlook forecasted and decided to move the ceremony indoors at our reception site, in Pontiac, MI.
I accepted the loss of my dream for an outdoor ceremony, and when our day came, I was relieved to see enough sunshine peaking through the storm clouds for a few outdoor photos at the original park location. We had a lovely little ceremony with our family and dearest friends. Afterwards, we took some family photos and then made our entrance into the Ballroom and immediately started with the toasts and dinner – I wanted to get on with the party! I made it half way through my meal when I noticed most of my immediate family putting their coats on and leaving, that is when my Mother came to the head table and told us about the accident.
My Grandfather and two other prominent family members were involved in a head on collision with a drunk driver on their way to the wedding. Everyone was critical and my Grandfather was worse off, being put on life support. I allotted 10 minutes for my husband and I to circle the floor and say our hello’s and goodbye’s… then we left.
We arrived at the Toledo Hospital, still in my wedding dress, and my Grandfather passed away a few hours later.
The insane amount of money and time we had spent toiling over the little details of our reception; and we walked out. We had not had our first dance, we had not cut our cake, we lost all of the moments that we had worked so hard to make possible. It all paled in comparison to being at my Grandfather’s bedside when he took his final breath, but I can’t help but feel sad for the day I had dreamed about since I was a girl. I am grieving and heartbroken. We spent our first week as newlyweds burying my Grandfather, and praying at the bedside of my Aunt who was injured in the accident. We cancelled our honeymoon and, during the time in which we had expected to feel boundlessly happy, we had not spent more than a few minutes together in which I had not been sobbing.
So, here we are, a year later. And I still feel like I have been robbed of so many things that I held dear. Knotties, what should I do? A few of our vendors had offered discounts and even free services if we were to have another reception in the future, but do you think it’s proper to ask people to travel again for us, and what do I say to the people who made it to the first event and didn’t get to enjoy it? I want something to feel joyful about; looking back at my wedding day with sorrow is appalling. I just want an opportunity to celebrate my marriage, with my husband, and with my family.