My dad stayed with me until DH came home from work. I asked DH if he'd talked to his mother and he said he hadn't. I said, "well, babe, I had to put her out. I'm sure she's furious, but I don't care." DH was undone, he was all, "I'm so sorry you had to put up with that, wtf is wrong with her, so on and so forth." He was upset that she'd stressed me out like that.
But MIL made a huge miscalculation. In addition to annoying the fvkc out of me, she also....
[wait for it]
...picked all of DH's tomatoes. DH grows his own tomatoes; he's very proud of them, and uses them in lots of recipes. One of his great joys is harvesting his crop. But that day, MIL decided that picking tomatoes was too stressful for him, so she cleaned out all the vines and left the tomatoes in the kitchen in a bowl. They were not ripe yet.
Y'all. DH went to the kitchen, saw the bowl of tomatoes and that was it. WHO THE FVKC PICKED MY TOMATOES!!! I didn't even answer; he knew who did it. I sat quietly in the dining room and let him take it all in.
He was three times undone. He snatched up the phone, and the rant he went on was legendary. I actually felt bad for her for a minute... nah, not really, but it was bad. I guess the tomatoes were the last straw. That was over a week ago, and we haven't heard a peep from her since.
..