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Wedding Woes

Can't keep savings afloat

We established a savings account for our wedding more than a year ago with the intent of keeping money in there for wedding expenses and paying small  expenses as we go since we don't carry credit cards. However, we have had a problem with my fiancee's family periodically borrowing money from my fiancee for various things. I don't understand the need for them to borrow anything from her when they know she has to save every dime she can, especially when he mother says she must save and she is one of the borrowers. Both of us are in school part-time and I have to pay rent so one of my checks goes to that. Her family has been more than generous helping out with some of the major payments but I don't think that is a permission slip to borrow from her. She does try to work overtime at her job to compensate for lost money. I, however, can't work overtime at my job. Is there any way I can get her to start putting her foot down and start saying no to her family when they start asking her for money?

Re: Can't keep savings afloat

  • cmp1986cmp1986 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Talk with your FI and make sure he's on the same page. Once he is, then sit his mom and any other family members that will listen down. Explain to them that you can not afford to help them out, while saving for this wedding. Tell them if they wanna help you out, to stop asking for money. Then make sure your FI doesn't cave and give them money. You could also transfer your savings acct. into only your name, so FI can't withdrawl money. HTH!
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm a little confused how they are paying for things, but are then borrowing money.

    I agree that you need to sit down with FI and discuss finances.  DO NOT keep a secret account and not allow access.  That is what you do to an irresponsible child, not your partner.  You two need to understand why she is giving the money and decide together whether or not it will continue.  It's highly possible that this will continue after you are married.  Are you okay with that?  What about when you are trying to save for a house? or baby?
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