Anxiety regarding walking down aisle & vows

KittyCat15

This is the first time I'm using a message board so I'm not entirely sure how it works. I'm a first time bride who's getting married in September. My fiance has been married before, and has already done the huge wedding thing. I'm only having about 50 ppl invited to our wedding. Here's my problem: I am really really shy and have a huge fear of walking down the aisle and saying the vows in front of everyone. It must seem silly since I know everyone who will be there, but I really don't like being the centre of attention, and I really have a fear of public speaking. I always get the shakes when I have to, and then feel ill.

Does anyone have some advice or tricks that could at least get me through the wedding ceremony?

Thanks!

Butter Cookie

I have this issue too. I plan on having a glass of champagne before I go out there, so I don't get face twitches and stutter horribly, like I do when I'm nervous. I'd suggest that, and a massage before, and then just focus on your fiance. Forget about everybody else, and just keep your eyes on him.

Also, ceremonies are only as long as you allow them to be. Talk to your officient. I bet they deal with this sort of thing all the time. They may be able to loosen you up with a few funny stories or something, and before you know it you'll be just grinning instead of freaked out.

deepcovejackie

How about walking down the aisle together with your fiance to hold your hand?  It might be really lovely!  I think that's what I'm doing.

KittyCat15

Thanks for your advice!

Butter Cookie: I don't drink alcohol (I know it's weird) but I'll find something else to get relaxed. I love the massage idea. I won't have time the day off the wedding, but I'll certainly book a long massage for the day before.

DeepCoveJackie: I do love the idea, especially since I'm least nervous when I'm with my fiance, but I think my dad would be hurt because he really wants to walk me down the aisle. I'll figure something out.

Once again, I thank both of you for your advice! Wishing you both a fantasic wedding day and a happy marriage

nicka91187

If you're not planning on drinking talk to your doc about a mild anti anxiety pill. I take them for flying and its very helpful. Also try some yoga poses or some meditation.

RaiKai

We did not do a walk down the aisle (no aisle!) however I will say when it came to the vows, I absolutely forgot anyone else, except FI and I, in the room was even there.

Take lots of time to relax before, breathing, yoga, a run, some spa treatments, whatever. I really just sort of relaxed by myself for the hours leading up to the ceremony - went for a run, did some stretching, had my hair and makeup done in my hotel room, ordered room service (my close family would pop in now and then as they arrived from out of town and I had not seen them in ages, but for most part I just took time for myself).  It helped a lot

felicia220

I was just thinking about this, myself, the other day. I actually enjoy public speaking but I would still get nervous before hand and there is something nerve racking about walking down the aisle and saying your vows.  Trust me you are NOT alone!  I have to walk onto a beach that will have almost 350 people.  But some things that have always helped me before I had to give a speech may be helpful to you.  First, when I would give a speech I would find two or three people in the room that I would focus on.  In our case, keeping your eyes on your FI while your walking may help calm you a bit.  Second, my mouth always got dry so I would bring a bottle of water with me.  In our case, a mint may keep your mouth from getting dry as well as just another small thing for your mind to focus on, instead of all the people.  (a small mint like a tic tac).  Lastly, I have spoken to many friends who have gotten married and they all said, that once they got to their FI they completely forgot there was anyone else there, which made me feel a lot more comfortable.  I hope this helps.  And good luck to you! You are going to be just fine.

red_980

What about walking down the aisle with your father and future husband?

Blueyed228

Drugs, lol.  Take the happy pills.  I plan on taking half the bottle since I am the same way.  He proposed and I threw up for a week with nerves.  The best things in life come in the form of a little white pill!

Good Luck!

EStar73

I am a performer: a dancer and a poetry reader, and I get soooo nervous! I start shaking and my heart starts pounding and my palms get all sweaty. I've figured out that the best thing to do is have as much as you can memorized. Close your eyes every once in a while and think through the things that will make you nervous like walking down the aisle or your vows. If you make it muscle memory it will be easier to do without thinking about it and you will feel more confident.