awkward - WWYD (long)

DG1

In August, I started doing contract work for one of my former employers. I have a great relationship with my former colleagues, and it's been great.

Another person contracting for a different part of the company is my former boss from another company. (That might be tough to follow - I worked for FormerBoss at Company A then later went on to be an employee of Company B. Years later, FB started contracting at Company B, then I started contracting at Company B in August.)

Anyway, my time at Company A didn't go so well and certainly didn't end well. This was in part because I was young and stupid (12-13 years ago) and in part because FB is BSC. I haven't spoken to this woman since maybe September of 2000.

Now we are on a small project together at Company B. So far, all contact has been over email. I dont' think she realizes who she is emailing with, because I have my married name now. I don't have any issues working with her - I am more grown up now, and her role is small - but I am wondering whether/how to out myself as her former, disliked, employee.

Wzz

i would let it go and not even worry about it. i know "lying is frowned upon in these parts, but i'd personally not even make it known that i even know this other person. who knows; she may not even remember you completely, or just wants to pretend that the past is the past and it doesn't matter anymore.

if this were me, i'd disregard the previous professional relationship altogether and pretend this is our first working relationship.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_awkward-wwyd-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7f1155d0-38ab-45d2-b967-0bdba1ba54cePost:6a3d2e98-8349-4e5c-867f-3507a041faf6">Re: awkward - WWYD (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]i would let it go and not even worry about it. i know "lying is frowned upon in these parts, but i'd personally not even make it known that i even know this other person. who knows; she may not even remember you completely, or just wants to pretend that the past is the past and it doesn't matter anymore. if this were me, i'd disregard the previous professional relationship altogether and pretend this is our first working relationship.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

All of this.  It was lifetime ago in work-years.

Just let the quality of your work now stand for itself.

Wzz

ETA - if she does ever realize you are you, and says something like, "oh wow you certainly are different than i remember."

you can always respond with, "yes, i have changed a lot in the last 12 years." end of replies and all that.

mrsconn23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_awkward-wwyd-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:7f1155d0-38ab-45d2-b967-0bdba1ba54cePost:f4e6d162-beda-4605-be3e-a411331533db">Re: awkward - WWYD (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]ETA - if she does ever realize you are you, and says something like, "oh wow you certainly are different than i remember." you can always respond with, "yes, i have changed a lot in the last 12 years." end of replies and all that.
Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

I think she can only really end the replies by sending a RP bumper sitcker.

DG1

Thing is, FB has a unique name;. There's no way she would think *I* didn't know who *she* was. 

Of course, one quick linkedin search would show my employment history and maiden name, but I doubt she is that interested. 

I like your plan, though. I would much rather pretend to know nothing. Or to pretend she does know and is also ignoring it.

6fsn

As long as you are behind a computer I'd ignore.  If you think you'll see her in person I'd give a head's up.  It wouldn't be fair if you've been working together for months knowing it's her and she gets blindsided.  Especially if the blindside would come in front of the client.

AuntFlo

I don't think you should tell her, and if it ever comes up that she realizes that it's you, you can just pretend that you assumed she knew all along.

zsazsa-stl

Would you make any of those comments to her if your name was the same and you were 1000% sure that she remembered you?  Unless you have some specific and genuine way that you would like to recall old times ("Hey, whatever happened to that terrible toe fungus you had?  Did they have to amputate?") I would leave it alone.  Just assume that she knows who you are and don't make any appologies or explanations.

GBCK

i'd treat it as if you assumed she recognized you too.

If it ever comes up.

"why...I didn't realize you're the same DG who worked for me at Company A!"

"Oh, I assumed you knew, or I would have re-introduced myself.  Say, how about your bunions, have they gotten better?"