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I hate the new daycare. (very VERY long)


The boys seem to like it well enough, though. 

I'm not sure if I'm just still adjusting (it's only been 4 days) and things will get better, or if this is how it really is. 

Day 1 - Tuesday.
We walk in, and the woman says, "I don't have a sign-in sheet for them because I didn't know if they were coming this week or next week." Oooookay. I thought I had clarified that with the other woman, but perhaps not. Yes, we'll be here. Then she asked how much they would be there to determine whether they were worthy of their own cubby or not. (Huh? There are like 20 cubbies and 10 kids. I think they can spare 2.)

The old daycare provided lunch, but we have to pack a lunch for this one. NBD, but we don't really have the provisions for such things on hand quite yet. I pack both lunches in one big insulated bag. Identical pairs of things, so there's no confusion. I told her we were new to this and were still working it all out. I got a note home saying they would need their own lunchboxes with their own names on them, napkin, fork, drink, etc. Oookay. I thought we could wing it for a few days until I could make a Target run, but whatever. So that afternoon I spent 2 miserable hours in walmart quickly picking out lunch boxes and containers and drink cups and whatever. 

Day 2 - Wednesday
They didn't stay for nap on Tuesday, but she did tell me they would need a pillow and a blanket. They only had a blanket at the old daycare, so we didn't have pillows on hand. She was very specific that it should be a SMALL pillow, and how I wouldn't believe how some parents bring full-sized stuff for their kids. The horror! 

During the same walmart trip, I looked for small pillows and let the boys pick out their own. We ended up with some pillow pet animal thingies that kids use for pillows sometimes. When I showed up with them on Wednesday, she side-eyed them and said, "We try to discourage these, because the kids play with them instead of napping." Oookay. Wish you had said that before I dropped $20 on pillows they can't use now. 

Sure enough, Dex got his pillow taken away during nap that day. Hell, the kid has only napped maybe 20 times in the last 2 years. I told her he wouldn't sleep but would lie quietly. 

Day 3 - Thursday
When I dropped them off, she said, 'Just so you know, most of the parents pick their kids up pretty early, like by 3:30 or 4:00." Well, snarky btch, you're open until 6, and I am OOT next week, so their father will be dropping them off early and picking them up at 5:58. You'd think I told her she had to run a mile barefoot in the desert dragging a sled with 20 screaming children on it. Grr. I clarified that it would only be at the beginning of the week, and she seemed slightly relieved at that.

Day 4 - Friday
Desmo has had a rash on his face this week. Doesn't bother him, no fever, etc. I had called the pediatrician yesterday, and they said just to watch it for now. When he still had it this morning, she was all "You know, we don't really like them to come with a rash until a doctor has determined what it is." 

Seriously?! Is that a RULE or just you not wanting to watch any more kids than you absolutely have to? Old daycare had state regulations that they had to follow - vomiting, diarrhea, or fever meant they were home for at least 24 hours. Rashes were not part of the sickness rule. And I had told her what the pediatrician said about just watching it. 

She also griped to me this morning about how one kid didn't come today, and his mother didn't call until 8:30. He usually comes in at 6:30, but she doesn't have to be there until a kid is there, so she had been at work for 2 hours for no reason. 

Dex has also told me that she yelled at him. Which may just mean a raised voice when he failed to do what she asked after 10 requests, but it's not encouraging. He also told me he wasn't allowed to sleep with his pillow again on Thursday. Again, that might be that he got it back and lost it again due to misbehavior, but it might also mean that she just withheld it. I'd like to know one way or another.


I have so many forces pulling me in a million directions about childcare. H's new job has him gone a lot more than he used to be. All of the dropoffs and pickups are on me, as is lunch making and pillow purchasing. My mother is constantly pressuring me to keep them home as much as possible, like daycare is the 7th circle of hell. I'm also trying to save a few dollars by keeping them home. On the other hand, I am a horrible SAHM, and I get no work done while they are here, which leads me to work late into the night, then sleep horribly, then wake up early to do it all over again. 

I do not need to be taking the daycare lady's feelings into account when determining that schedule. If I do choose to send them at a certain time, I shouldn't be worrying whether that's really OK with her or if she's just going to tolerate it. She makes it seem like it's OK if my kids are there if she has to be there for another kid anyway, but if it's just them, she'd rather just go home, thankyouverymuch.

Ugh. If you made it this far, thanks. I don't know whether I don't think I can address things today, then I am OOT at the beginning of next week, then my parents are visiting, and I won't see the school again until June 11. So I guess I have to see how it goes.

This teacher is the assistant in the Montessori classroom during the schoolyear, and I do want them to do the school in the fall, so I do need to make sure I don't give her extra reasons to hate my kids. 

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Re: I hate the new daycare. (very VERY long)

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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment

    Wow. That was a lot. I also have no one to discuss this with, so the board gets the whole vent. Sorry. :(

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    Day 3 - Thursday
    When I dropped them off, she said, 'Just so you know, most of the parents pick their kids up pretty early, like by 3:30 or 4:00." Well, snarky btch, you're open until 6, and I am OOT next week, so their father will be dropping them off early and picking them up at 5:58. You'd think I told her she had to run a mile barefoot in the desert dragging a sled with 20 screaming children on it. Grr. I clarified that it would only be at the beginning of the week, and she seemed slightly relieved at that.

    ^this, IMO, is the biggest issue.   Which I think can be handled with a simple phone call to the director to get sorted out.   I'd do it ASAP if I were you.
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    1.  I agree with you on the cubby thing.  I don't see why they can't have one if there are extras.

    2.  It's annoying that they didn't give you some leeway on the lunches and pillows, but I wouldn't complain about it too much.  I wouldn't have let the kids get the pillow pets for daycare though.  I think it would be pretty obvious that a fun pillow will only be a distraction, not only for your kids.  The other kids will want one too.  However, it seems like it would be easier for the daycare to supply them and then charge you.

    3.  When you talked about her pushing you to pick up early, this shot up a red flag.  Sure, it's cool to get off work early if there are no kids, but if the center is open until 6:00, she needs to be ok with working until 6:00.  If she doesn't like it, she should start her own daycare out of her house and set her own hours.

    4.  I would question gig kid's parents if he came with a rash.  I wouldn't be cool with it, not knowing what it was.  BUT this is my house.  It's different than a daycare center.  Also, I discuss things like this with the parents in the beginning.

    5.  This lady just sounds like she shouldn't be doing this type of work.  I mean, you can't be a good daycare provider and be bothered by the kids.  You just can't.  Is she alone in this classroom?  How many kids is she responsible for?  Are you sure she's within the state ratios?

    The most important thing is your instinct with this place.  If you don't like it, get out.  Don't keep your kids in a place where you are "iffy" or not sure about their care provider.  It's not worth it.  I don't care if it's a PITA to find another place.  Find another one.
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    6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I agree with the others.  Some of these things are just the annoyances involved with switching providers and learning the new ropes- cubbies, lunches, paperwork, etc.  The rash could be a grey area.  It's not vomitting or fever, but there are communicable disease that go along with a rash.

    The hours and yelling needs to be resolved though.  I'm wondering if she only covers daycare for the summer because she has to so she can do the montessori gig.

    Do you have to be enrolled now to be in the montessori?  I'd probably give it just a little time so those non-issues aren't annoying you.  I would speak up and find out about the spelling though.
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    WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    as someone who has dealth with (and am still dealing with) daycare issues, i can relate to the vent. hopefully it's a matter of adjusting.

    but yes, i would be very perturbed with the lack of information up front. eve if it is a bunch of small things (that can quickly add up), it's still annoying.

    the complaining about her hours and about other parents would be my red flag, too. i would put it to the side for now, but not let it slide indefinitely. this is part of the list of things that brought me to the decision to remove baby from the previous DCP. if she has set hours, then kids or no kids, those are her hours. period.
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment


    This daycare is *registered* with the state, which means they do get inspected periodically, but they aren't *licensed* with the state, so they don't have to adhere to all of the same guidelines that other centers might. Thus the ambiguity about the rash. (Though, like I said, the last place, licensed, would have allowed it, especially since I did call the pediatrician.)

    She is usually the only one in there. There's a different teacher on Mondays, and they will call someone else in if there gets to be 10 or 12 kids. Usually, it's 6-7 kids, which is well below the ratio the state requires.

    I wasn't a huge fan of the pillow pets, but I didn't have a lot of options. Also, Desmo sleeps with one every night and truly just sleeps. Dex sleeps with a standard pillow at night and regularly stuffs the top half of his body inside and spins around like a robot. So I really didn't think the pillow pet would matter. In fact, I'd bet good money that next week, when they have more traditional pillows, Desmo will sleep and Dex will play.

    They don't have to be here to go to the school in the fall, but it does give them some priority and lets them enroll a little sooner. 

    Also, at least so far, they seem to like it. They willingly get dressed and get in the car in the morning. Recently, when I'd tell them we were going to school, there would be crying and "I don't want to go there!" and I'd have to wrestle their clothes on them and sometimes physically force them into the carseats. So it can't be THAT bad, right? That might be the newness, though.

    We also save quite a bit of money right now using the new place. As much as $100/week, or a little less after you factor in the lunches.

    Worst-case, they can return to the old daycare. I could also keep them in both, using the old daycare for 3 full days/week, then just a few hours on the other days at the new place if I need it.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_i-hate-the-new-daycare-very-very-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8010ea59-9923-4805-b5f5-704eb7b981a7Post:4bb651c0-38cb-42b1-bf36-6e531e1a74a7">Re: I hate the new daycare. (very VERY long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]as someone who has dealth with (and am still dealing with) daycare issues, i can relate to the vent.
    Posted by Wzz[/QUOTE]

    NO.  That makes me haz a sad.  :(

    DG-I'm sorry this is such a PITA.  That sucks.
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    I'm glad the boys like it there.  That is a good sign.

    I'd still be hesitant about this place, but I do agree with the others about giving it a little while to adjust.  I take back my "find another place" for the time being.

    If the boys tell you she's yelling or if she does more complaining about hours or other parents I definitely wouldn't ignore it.

    I already don't like this lady.
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    I'd give it some time.  Boys seem to be adjusting, and every place is going to have its degree of annoying things, you just have to adjust to each other.  I'm guessing your frazzled nerves aren't helping either. *hug*

    But as far as the daycare lady, she needs an immediate 'check yo'self' coming straight from the director.  I'd give the director a call immediately.  That's just pisspoor customer service and director may want to hear about what's coming from the employees.  And if she takes it out on yours or any other kids, she needs to be fired on the spot.  Like Wzz said, hours are posted, regardless of how many kids are there, you work the time that's allocated.
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    I feel like when I was little, my mom was always given a list of what I needed and restrictions on those items. Like, if you needed your own, small pillow, those animal stuffed pillows are popular enough that *I* know about them (it's not like you found some weird one-off item that she was surprised to see) and she should have told you they were verboten.

    I'd be calling the director. I wouldn't start off with 'My kid said this...." though. I mean, he's how old? And knows how to manipulate a situation when he wants to. I'm not saying he's lying about this, but I would not open with that.
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    DG1DG1 member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary First Comment


    He actually doesn't lie yet, though it wouldn't surprise me if he could. He doesn't always remember things accurately, but if he wants to do something he isn't supposed to do, he'll say, "Mom, can you go in the other room?" It's hilarious.

    I will see how next week goes and then talk with the director. It is a VERY small place - 3 employees total - so I do have to tread pretty carefully. She also knows the other kids really well and is just starting to get to know mine, who in turn are getting used to new schedules and rules.

    Dex did tell me today was a good day, and no one took away his pillow. :)

    I will see the director on 6/11, so I'll be able to talk to her then if I still have concerns.

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