upstaging the bride

Morag1973

I'm having an internal struggle with both my sister and mom and their obsession with their dresses.  My sister has recently lost alot of weight, I'm very happy for her as she needed to do this for health reasons, she is one of my bridesmaids and I let the girls pick out their own dresses (I wanted them to be in something they felt comfortable in).  My sister picked out a dress that looks great on her, now she has made it a BIG secret regarding what the dress looks like, she wants to "surprise" her husband on the day of my wedding with her dress.  All conversation is about how she is going to "wow" people with her dress and weightloss.  My mom has picked out a beautiful dress (actually, I picked it out and made her try it on and she fell totally in love with it).  She has been showing people pictures of it online and is obsessing about the color and what accessories to wear.  She once called me three times in one day to discuss her dress!!  I'm starting to feel more like the bridesmaid than the bride.  I'm not sure what to do or if I should say something.  Isn't this supposed to me my day?! Help!

loveshine1

You're creating drama where there is none.

No one will mistake anyone other than you for the bride. You should be happy your mom and sister are excited to be a part of your wedding.

*Barbie*

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_upstaging-bride?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:83841653-e631-49e4-8bdf-7d64de7e939ePost:457b08ef-497a-412b-a025-6fa9600433a7">upstaging the bride</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm having an internal struggle with both my sister and mom and their obsession with their dresses.  My sister has recently lost alot of weight, I'm very happy for her as she needed to do this for health reasons, she is one of my bridesmaids and I let the girls pick out their own dresses (I wanted them to be in something they felt comfortable in).  My sister picked out a dress that looks great on her, now she has made it a BIG secret regarding what the dress looks like, she wants to "surprise" her husband on the day of my wedding with her dress.  All conversation is about how she is going to "wow" people with her dress and weightloss.  My mom has picked out a beautiful dress (actually, I picked it out and made her try it on and she fell totally in love with it).  She has been showing people pictures of it online and is obsessing about the color and what accessories to wear.  She once called me three times in one day to discuss her dress!!  I'm starting to feel more like the bridesmaid than the bride.  I'm not sure what to do or if I should say something.  Isn't this supposed to me my day?! Help!
Posted by Morag1973[/QUOTE]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA <em>*pause to breathe*</em> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

NOLABridesmaid

Are you really serious?

They sound excited, so let them be excited. You are still the bride in the big white dress no matter what they wear.

Why wouldn't you want your mom and sister to look nice?

Morag1973

I am VERY excited for them both, I'm having my own dress drama that it causing me stress and anxiety.  Maybe I need a vacation from wedding planning.

hmonkey

yeah, take some time off, or at least a mental break.

you know, just because the phone is ringing, it doesn't mean you have to pick it up.

NOLABridesmaid

I have other questions.

Is 1973 your birth year? Is this your first marriage, and how the heck did you find him?

Fellow 1973'er would love to know. Ha.

Heffalump

Happiness is not a zero sum game.

zsazsa-stl

This is why I asked my bridesmaids to wear brown sack.  It made me look better.

LnR70707

What?  It is great that they are that excited about their dresses....not something to whine about.   Good lord.

FutureMrsOrtiz0526

You should try to look at it as a positive, not a negative. They are excited to be in YOUR wedding and to look good on your day. Wouldn't it be worse if they were whining about having to wear a dress or get their hair done or whatever? Just try and put things into perspective.

Although it is "your day", don't get crazy over it. IMHO, no one else is really going to care. None of your guest are going to compare you to your mom or sister.