More from Prudie...

mrsconn23

Dear Prudie,
My husband and I will be celebrating our 15^th wedding anniversary, and we are renewing our vows. I'm excited about doing this "our way" as our original wedding was very traditional. We're going to include our children and friends, but the biggest reason to renew our vows is to create a positive memory of a wedding ceremony. Six months after our wedding, we found out that my dad had been having an affair with my mother's friend. The other woman was our unofficial wedding planner; she made all of the decorations and my veil, sang the first song in the ceremony, and her son was our ring bearer! After the revelation, anything connected with the wedding was painful for us and for my mom. We can't watch the video, and my mother asked me to throw away my veil when she found it in my closet. My parents worked things out and are relatively happy, but I don't want to tell people the real reason for the vow renewal. So what do I say when they ask?

—Right This Time

Butter Cookie

Well duh, just like with all dirty laundry you air it in great detail.

tawillers

She had to throw away her veil?  Really?  Nice, Mom.

I didn't know you had to have a reason to do a vowel renewal.

Belle2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8401bfbf-f645-4879-b134-38b02d79caa1Post:c31a5285-f30d-4ed7-9da5-1c8368af8f4b">Re: More from Prudie...</a>:
[QUOTE]She had to throw away her veil?  Really?  Nice, Mom. I didn't know you had to have a reason to do a<strong> vowel renewal</strong>.
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]

I'd like to refresh an "A" please Bob.

ReturnOfKuus

So they're blaming it all on the wedding planner rather than the skeezeball who f*cked his wife's friend.

mrsconn23

Prudie's response:

Dear Right,
I think renewals are for driver's licenses, so you've come to the wrong place in asking me. Few people would re-rent a powder-blue tux for the prom, or get a hideous perm, but even if your prom photos make you cringe, it's done, and it would be pathetic to do it again. Your mother's "friend" is a ghastly person, but you're giving this treacherous woman way too much power if you let her poison your memory of your wedding day. In his fascinating book www.amazon.com/gp/product/0393066320?ie=UTF8&tag=slatmaga-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0393066320" target="_blank">How Pleasure Works, Yale psychologist Paul Bloom writes of humans' belief that people and things have "essences." This is so deeply held that it explains why fans pay enormous sums for mundane objects that once belonged to famous people. But the wedding planner didn't actually contaminate your ceremony, or your veil, with her rotten essence. Push her to the sidelines of your memory and put yourself and your husband at the center, where you belong. When you watch the wedding video (how often do couples watch their wedding video?), just fast-forward through her song. You apparently dwell on this episode more than even your parents do. Instead of re-enacting your wedding, just throw yourselves an anniversary party. But if you must redo "I do," you don't owe anybody an explanation beyond, "We love each other so much, we wanted to get married all over again."

Belle2Be

They could just have a "Holy crap, we beat the odds and made it 15 years" party

tawillers

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:8401bfbf-f645-4879-b134-38b02d79caa1Post:2542d02d-1d78-4756-91d1-6e89bb10d58d">Re: More from Prudie...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More from Prudie... : I'd like to refresh an "A" please Bob.
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]

Lurk a little longer.

Belle2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8401bfbf-f645-4879-b134-38b02d79caa1Post:1c3f4831-8406-4f38-9ed3-29a05d309150">Re: More from Prudie...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More from Prudie... : Lurk a little longer.
Posted by tawillers[/QUOTE]
?

Butter Cookie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8401bfbf-f645-4879-b134-38b02d79caa1Post:862636cd-f622-4468-b750-a8d0c3b06336">Re: More from Prudie...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More from Prudie... : ?
Posted by Belle2Be[/QUOTE]


Vowel renewal is a joke. She doesn't actually think it's a vowel renewal.

Belle2Be

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_prudie?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:8401bfbf-f645-4879-b134-38b02d79caa1Post:7f9b3389-5f17-4001-8510-1900e618b90a">Re: More from Prudie...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: More from Prudie... : Vowel renewal is a joke. She doesn't actually think it's a vowel renewal.
Posted by Butter Cookie[/QUOTE]
Ah. Well, I didn't really want to refresh an "A", anyway.