Irrationally feel like a failure

6fsn

6let had his pre-school/4 yo check up today.  The pedi was concerned about his speech so we're being referred for evaluation.  I know it's not rational, but I feel like it's my fault.

Wzz

they (evaluators) are going to say it is because he was born later in the year. i wouldn't worry too much about it.

good luck, though. and btw, isn't everything that happens in these kids' lives now our fault? i am sure he will have some failure in his future relationships i will be responsible for. no harm no foul.

AuntFlo

COMPLETELY irrational.
I know I've never met the kid, but I've never heard you say anything about his speech.   What seems to be the issue?

VarunaTT

What were his concerns?

I wouldn't worry too much about it, 6.  I know you guys talk to him and I know he chatters back.  Maybe he's having deep thoughts and doesn't feel the need to talk all the danged time and so hasn't quite caught up.  I had a friend who did something similar as a young child.

mrsconn23

Awww!  I'm sorry.  Feel your feelings, but it's really not your fault. 

A few of my local gals have kids in speech therapy and they all said the same thing about how they felt.  BUT, their updates about how well their kiddos are doing are always wonderful. 

6fsn

There are a few different things.  He's a terrible enunciator.  He can be very hard to understand because of it.  I was on the fence of it being normal for his age or not.  I can't say it's a big surprise to DH or I that she wants to start an evaluation.  He has a large vocabulary, but you just can't always understand it.

The other problem is that she hasn't "grown up" with the kid.  He's painfully shy and wouldn't really talk to her which made it even more difficult.  She was kind of on the fence about the evaluation and was recommending we talk to the preschool teachers for their input.  Then she asked if anyone else had voiced concern.....

Please recall that this woman was roommates with my brother in med school.  She knows my mom (a former nurse).  My parents were invited to her wedding and the whole shebang.  So when I mentioned my mom has expressed concern she kind of felt that was the tipping point. 

There is a wait list for the evaluation so he will probably be in school before we get any sort of evalutation.  She said at that point the teachers should be able to give some good input on how typical his speech is.

The good news is that my under 25% ht and wt kid is now 75% ht and 50% wt.  He's met or exceeded all other standards for 4 yos. 

PMeg819

I'm sorry- and I know you know this, but it's definitely not your fault. DS is in the same boat- he's always been at the lower end of speech development, and I'm always feeling like I should be doing more or that I should have done something different. I bet preschool really helps though.

*Barbie*

if there's any concern, it's probably better to address it now, when it will be easier for him to correct.

my nephew just turned 4 in April, and I still can't understand a damn thing that kid says. I just assumed it was the age, but maybe he should be seeing a therapist.

zsazsa-stl

I went to speech therapy as a kid.  They gave me stickers!!!  I loved it.  In fact, I faked a lisp a few times so that I could stay in therapy.  It was just way too much fun.

6fsn

The words kids typically have problems with are yellow, truck, yoyo, three, and a few others.  He gets all of those right. but says cool instead of school and skips other random letters.  Considering M2 isn't saying words yet either I bet she'll be evaluated too.

Barbie- she said by 3 you should be able to understand 75% of what the kid says.  So if you aren't getting anything you he probably does need something.

ElleB87

I went to speech therapy as a kid because I'm hearing impaired. It's something that can be worked on pretty easily. My niece is also hearing impaired and has the same speech issue. Since she has been working with a speech therapist (she's 7 now) things have improved a lot.
 
You're definitely not a failure.

Heffalump

SO not a failure.  I would shame you if you blew it off, but obviously you considered what she said and are taking action.  No shame.  But I understand where you're coming from--it's hard not to feel responsible, even when you're not.

Niece is in speech therapy and it has been a big help, and I'm sure it will be for 6let, too.