Getting married while everyone else is divorcing

kysnowbird

Hi everyone. I was wondering if anyone is in the same boat I am. I am 30 years old and getting married in October to an absolute prince (he's 34). The only problem with getting married later in life is that most of our friends/family are getting divorced, in marriage counseling, or absolutely hate their spouses.

It's so hard to hear such negative talk ALL THE TIME about how marriage is the biggest mistake of all time, husbands are horrible people who will ruin your life, etc. I try to stop listening or avoid conversations like this, but it's really hard. My best friend, my sister, (both bridesmaids) and my two co-workers (in a 3-person department, so I'm around it for 40 hours a week) are all divorcing or having a terrible marriage.

I always dreamed about having a wonderful wedding and I am 100% certain that my fiance is THE ONE for me (been dating two years and he is caring, giving, respectful, a good communicator, etc.) It's just so hard to have all my excitement dashed by others. And they do try to make a small effort by saying "Oh, I'm sure you guys will be all right..." but I can tell their hearts aren't in it.

Is there anyone else in the same boat? How do you handle it?

MinM

Everyone I work with is either in a crappy marriage or on their (at least) second marriage. I am not them, so it doesn't bother me. My H is awesome and we are OK, so what do I care about other people and their crappy situations and bad life choices?

hmonkey

don't let them steal your joy

-- nola

zsazsa-stl

Maybe they are all miserable because they got married too young? 

Tell them that you are capable of making your own life decisions and change the subject.

NOLABridesmaid

I think it just means that you need to make sure that you really know the person that you're going to marry, and you have similar goals and expectations about marriage.

Think of it as a positive that you've had more life experiences and more able to handle marriage than maybe you would have been in your 20's.

NOLABridesmaid

Ha.

H, true dat.

**O-Face**

People are jerks.  The end.

MiddlesexFells

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_getting-married-everyone-else-divorcing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:89ef47d0-944d-4354-b04b-cf0a27193b5dPost:7529cbb2-6f0d-491d-9fe4-dc42ae1e43a2">Getting married while everyone else is divorcing</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone. I was wondering if anyone is in the same boat I am. I am 30 years old and getting married in October to an absolute prince (he's 34). The only problem with <strong>getting married later in life</strong> is that  ...
Posted by kysnowbird[/QUOTE]

I choked on my soda at this!

Serious answer: Only you and fi are walking the path you've defined for yourselves. As long as you're confident you're doing the right thing, block out all the other noise.  And I seriously doubt most of the people you know are getting divorced/in couselling, etc. Just the LOUDEST ones!

Callmebetty

Yeah, I didn't realize that getting married at 30 was "later in life."  In my world, that's normal marriage age, and I was a child-bride at almost 25.  

As for advice, I would try to just not talk about the wedding with these people.  If you're happy and you're sure, then who cares what they think?  Sucks for them that they got married so young.  

kysnowbird

D'oh! I'm sorry, I totally didn't mean that the way it sounded. I was meaning me getting married later than my friends did. I TOTALLY don't think that getting married in your 30s qualifies anywhere near "later in life." I just phrased that poorly. My bad! But thank you, everyone, for the advice. It means a lot.