Help! Family drama!

enmitchell84

I'm sure this happens all the time, but I have parents who split a couple years ago but are still bitter toward eachother. I'm not terribly close to my mother, I haven't spoken to her in a year or so and I love my dad, he's the greatest...

Do I invite my mother??? The list goes on of why I don't want her there but the main reason would be that I have a very limited guest list. I would rather invite a close friend or family member who I actually talk to over her and her new 30-something husband (she's a cougar now-LOL)!  I'm affraid it would look bad on paper if I didn't invite her but I can only imagine the drama it would create if she showed up.  I hate all this stress and drama. HELP!!

loveshine1

I have no idea how to handle this.

Invite your mom if you'd like. If she chooses not to come, that is her decision.

**O-Face**

Do what you want.  If you're THAT concerned about what people think, invite her.  If not...don't.

hmonkey

well, there are two schools of thought --

if you invite her, it's up to her whether she wants to come or not. 

however, if she does come, is it likely that other people will be uncomfortable and unhappy -- other people that you love and want to share in your joy?  this is less about what people think and more about how comfortable you will make your guests.

it's one thing if people can ignore or be civil to someone they all fee animosity towards, and it's another if this person is the equivalent to dropping mad stank in the middle of your wedding.

how much drama will it create if she is not invited?  has she met the groom?  has she expressed any interest in you or your life at all?  these questions are less about your wedding, and more about the rest of your life.  you will be married for a long time, and she will be your mom for a long time, too.

enmitchell84

Thank you for your help! She has met the groom and knows I'm engaged but couldn't care less about it. When she saw my ring she rolled her eyes and said "I guess I'll let you out do me" -- and not in joking tone. Everything is a competition to her and i'm sure she'll make a nice jab at me right before i walk down the Aisle. She's a completely toxic woman. I'm so lucky to have the best future mother in law tho. She helped shop for the ring and went wedding dress shopping with me!!! Things a Mother of the Bride SHOULD do. It's just sad my mother can't get her head out of her ass to at least act excited for me...