Wedding Woes

elope? cancel? what to do?!

Did you at any point feel like the best thing to do was elope?  I'm so ready to just stop everything, tell everyone we eloped, have a small ceremony and then have a small dinner with our parents and siblings.  I'm just so over the whole thing at this point.  Originally this is what we wanted to do-but my parents wanted to give us a traditional wedding. 

I'm sick of talking abotu who doesnt want to make a speech, who doesnt like their dress, my mom hasnt even bought a dress, my sisters aren't letting the other bridesmaids help with the shower, the amount of money a friggin bouquet of flowers cost, my dad's working overtime-it's just all too much-it doesnt seem practical at all...for a 5 hour party!


I feel like all the money they're spending could be put to better use.  My fiance supports me either way.

At this point the most important thing is just being married.  I hate to have to inconvenience so many people (from Canada, florida, north carolina, out of the country etc.) and put my parents through this kind of stress financially when we can have an intimate ceremony and really nice dinner-and they can either make their home safe or work on getting out of there.  I know they'll say absolutely not-have the wedding but I'm being realistic here.

We can use the money we were going to put towards it to either go away or towards our condo. 

I dont know what to do.    Cry

Re: elope? cancel? what to do?!

  • *Barbie**Barbie* member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    sit down with your FI, discuss your feelings, his feelings, and your options and make a decision like adults. 
  • Butter CookieButter Cookie member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_elope-cancel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:9431d6cf-1239-4955-8342-0f4c41537e4cPost:cf251e23-2dde-4da8-a6e9-9cd4137e69e8">elope? cancel? what to do?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did you at any point feel like the best thing to do was elope?  I'm so ready to just stop everything, tell everyone we eloped, have a small ceremony and then have a small dinner with our parents and siblings.  I'm just so over the whole thing at this point.  Originally this is what we wanted to do-but my parents wanted to give us a traditional wedding.  I'm sick of talking abotu who doesnt want to make a speech, who doesnt like their dress, my mom hasnt even bought a dress, my sisters aren't letting the other bridesmaids help with the shower, the amount of money a friggin bouquet of flowers cost, my dad's working overtime-it's just all too much-it doesnt seem practical at all...for a 5 hour party! I feel like all the money they're spending could be put to better use.  My fiance supports me either way. At this point the most important thing is just being married.  I hate to have to inconvenience so many people (from Canada, florida, north carolina, out of the country etc.) and put my parents through this kind of stress financially when we can have an intimate ceremony and really nice dinner-and they can either make their home safe or work on getting out of there.  I know they'll say absolutely not-have the wedding but I'm being realistic here. We can use the money we were going to put towards it to either go away or towards our condo.  I dont know what to do.   
    Posted by kboyke14[/QUOTE]


    You know, it sounds like you want the right things. You're concerned about the marriage, not the wedding. If you're hating it this much and you can get out of your contracts without much financial strain then you should go elope. You can invite your immediate family to be there, then go out to eat, and you'll be married. You can send out announcements after to let people know (If you've already sent out invites) and thank them for being a part of the family etc etc.

    Absolutely don't spend the money if it seems ridiculous to you, and you're not happy planning this thing, and nobody seems all that happy about it.
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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    It sounds like you actually know what you want to do, you're just reluctant to pull the trigger.  Do it, I say.
  • awesome-sauceawesome-sauce member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    The rest of it, I was thinking, well it sounds like you're not happy, people are stressed, so just do the JOP and dinner thing if you want.

    The I read this part:
    and they can either make their home safe or work on getting out of there. 

    This makes me say yes, yes, yes to the JOP and dinner. A lot of restaurants have private rooms, which would be perfect for you. Talk to your FI, decide, and then sit with your parents and tell them your decision.
    .
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_elope-cancel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:9431d6cf-1239-4955-8342-0f4c41537e4cPost:a797bfbf-9bc5-4a22-866e-c0886a127621">Re: elope? cancel? what to do?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]It sounds like you actually know what you want to do, you're just reluctant to pull the trigger.  Do it, I say.
    Posted by Heffalump[/QUOTE]

    This.
  • edited December 2011
    Elope.

    I wish I could summon up the chutzpah to elope.
  • C&S1030C&S1030 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I want to elope EVERYDAY.  My FI comes from a big Catholic family and all his siblings have had traditional weddings.  FFIL is also practicing to become a Deacon of the Catholic church so he strongly encouraged a ceremony in a Catholic church.  I was cool with a trip somewhere with a few close friends and family members and now I am planning a wedding with a guest list of 250.  I'm not against the big traditional wedding by any means but I would have been happy with eloping too.

    BUT... in the end I know I will be happy with the way our wedding will turn out.  I will be glad I did things the traditional way.  I say hang in there, I think every bride feels the way you do at some point.  Besides, we have our venue and catering already paid for and there is no hope of ever getting out of those contracts without a pretty penny.  Sealed
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  • kboyke14kboyke14 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A big THANK YOU to everyone.  Even though I don't know any of you-I feel like you totally understand where I'm coming from and how I'm feeling.  I definitely will take a step back and try to enjoy the process and just not stress about it.  I think we're going with the traditional wedding just a little more low key.  Thanks again!!Smile
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