Freaking out over guest list

megetarian

resolved

*Barbie*

what does your Fi have to say about all of this?

who is paying?

*Barbie*

if your parents are paying for the reception, they they get to determine the number of guests they are willing to pay for. if your parents are willing to host everyone on the list, and your FI wants them there, then you're SOL.

if your parents say we will pay for X guests, they get to determine how that is split and your ILs will have to pare down their list (or i guess offer to pay your parents the difference).

skippylouwho

I'm guessing they aren't strangers to him - they are his family.  Your family may be strangers to him - but they are your family.  Suck it up and realize you each have family the other may not know.  That's life

hmonkey

this is why i hate the "who's paying" question -- it's not about the money.

first, is having your dream small wedding that important to you?  and how important is it to your fi?  second, why is he not budging about this?  does he feel obligated to have the entire family tree there, or is there something else going on?

finally, if you've been dating for nine years, why is this coming up now?

AuntFlo

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_freaking-out-over-guest-list-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:47Discussion:95a3455c-d013-4de4-9134-942ebe23b193Post:957639f4-76b4-4249-b8ee-3aef2f3bb325">Freaking out over guest list</a>:
[QUOTE]IThe last thing I want is to walk down the aisle to a bunch of strangers (his family). I have tried to just accept the fact that they are going to be invited, but I just can't. Posted by megetarian[/QUOTE]

You're a bitch. Call it off.  Your FI can do much better.

I can understand wanting a small wedding, but the sentence I quoted above shows your true colors.

hmonkey

you don't need to convince his family -- you need to talk to him, and then let him deal with his family.

megetarian

thanks hmonkey