Wow, from lurker to two posts in a week! Sorry, but you all were so helpful with putting things in perspective last time I just have to bother you again.
My RSVP date came and went, and there are still 40 people who have not responded. One of them is a friend of mine from law school who also happens to be the brother of one of my best friends. I was surprised he hadn't RSVP'd until I heard through the grapevine that he was upset because he wasn't sure he could afford to come - unfortunately, he was one of the MANY attorneys laid off in the last round of layoffs (around 8 months ago) and has not been able to find a job yet. The situation is further complicated by two things: (1) I recently received an invite to his wedding in August; and (2) his brother will be leaving for his second tour in Afghanistan two days after the wedding - so this will be one of the last times we'll see his brother for a year.
Really, what this boils down to is that IF he otherwise wants to come, I'd hate for him to not do so for purely financial reasons - I certainly didn't invite him because I was counting on his gift, and would rather him be there to spend time with his brother and other friends (all of whom are attending) without worrying about a gift. Moreover, given the current state of legal employment, he's absolutely not the only person I know who is in the unfamiliar territory of going from excellent job security to no prospects whatsoever. So truly, I feel for him and hate the idea that he's so uncomfortable.
I do have to start calling everyone soon to get an accurate count, with the wedding a month away. Is there anything I can do or say to him that wouldn't be BEYOND presumptuous and rude, and would not simultaneously embarrass him and put him in the position of feeling obligated to come? Or, since he hasn't mentioned it to me directly, do I just play dumb and leave it be?
And, if he does not end up attending, do I attend his wedding in August?
Really, any advice would be appreciated. I'm likely overthinking this, but I feel very close to making a misstep and either embarassing or upsetting him, which I'd hate to do.