Is this lame?

carrieoz_76

A note - I may still do it, even if you think it's lame.  I'm just polling to see what you all think.  

We weren't going to do an AHR.  Then my dad said he'd like to host a pool party (he lives in EWa and is putting in a new pool), and invite his side of the family (which is BIG) to celebrate our wedding a few weeks after the wedding in HI.  And just this week my mom told me she'd like to host a reception here so her family can celebrate the wedding, as well.  I told her we don't want anything expensive or formal in a reception hall, but a bbq or picnic might be ok.

So, we may have 2 family get-togethers after the wedding to celebrate our recent nuptials.  We're not overlapping invites, though - other than FI and I, no one would be invited to both.  FI thinks it's lame, but I don't.  So I'm curious what others think.

Tygirljojo

I say go for it!  Sounds like it's a good excuse for your dad to show off his new swimming pool.   Plus, as you said, as long as you don't overlap the guest list, I think it would be totally fine!  Just be prepared to have a slideshow with pics from the wedding to play.

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_this-lame?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:fb8e7620-87cb-4bf6-a848-2e3d36d36f28Post:e3bcb86f-1fbf-4d45-ae22-3eed2ef9d9e4">Re: Is this lame?</a>:
[QUOTE]  Sounds like it's a good excuse for your dad to show off his new swimming pool. ;)  
Posted by Tygirljojo[/QUOTE]
You are wise.  :)

crakd

oops, i voted yes cuz i thought it said "yes do it!"  LOL 

totally do it!  how would it possibly be rude to invite people to parties? 

is it just me, or do people go a leeeetle overboard with the ettiquite thing where weddings are concerned?

do it and have a great time. 

melissa82

I have a question before I can vote. Who is invited to your HI wedding? Will any of those people be invited to these parties?

kinmir30

Why not celebrate your marriage over and over again!?!?! Plus your parents want to show YOU off! Let them. Plus how fun is a pool party and a bbq? And I think its cool if some of the same people go to both. Why not? Aren't they your friends and family? Why not have an excuse to get them all together and spend more time with them?

dreamwinds

Whatever. Do it. It's your party and they want to celebrate for you, right?

The FI and I are... having way too many celebrations I think, but there are reasons for that. If it makes you feel any better (and any less lame), here's what we're planning:

Legal ceremony in June of this year, or whenever our visa comes through - family only and fancy dinner afterwards.

Big ceremony and reception next July - close friends and family again, as well as a few obligation guests.

Formal Chinese dinner next year in Vancouver post-big ceremony thrown by his parents - A lot of his friends he couldn't invite and most of his parents' friends who would be more comfortable with a Chinese dinner.

BBQ in Kentucky thrown by my parents - For a lot of my mom's church friends who aren't invited to my wedding for various reasons.

Family banquet in Seoul (next year) - So he can meet my side of the family, esp. those uncles and aunts who are too old to travel and pay our respects as a newly married in the extended family.

Family banquet in Hong Kong (next year) - So I can meet his side of the family, including his 85+ year old grandfather who can't travel and so we can pay our respects.

BrandyL10

I say the more parties the better, and if the guests overlap, whatever. If they're bringing gifts then it should be an understanding they're only bringing gifts to one party, but they can come and play at the other one too! Go for it! That's really sweet of your dad!

jennuinne

Its not lame.  I think its totally normal to have some celebration home if you do a destination wedding.  When FI and I were planning small family-only wedding in Hawaii, we planned to have a party in Seattle and in VA/DC after, but more like bbq, not a "reception."  I think its great.  And everyone that's not coming to Hawaii will want to celebrate w/ you and see all your photos.  I agree w/ tygirl, you need to make sure you have photos and/or slide show from Hawaii to share at both parties.

sarack

i think you should do two! sounds fun!

jennlin

odd duck here~ i voted yes it's lame, but i understand... it's not that i think the parties itself is lame..but i wouldn't want people on the outside to seed it as AW and gift grabby. i.e. your friends, co workers, who know you are having several different parties to celebrate one event. while it's a fantastic event..it might be overkill.

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_this-lame?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:fb8e7620-87cb-4bf6-a848-2e3d36d36f28Post:9bae1372-f3a2-4cef-ac31-f55c61e4df60">Re: Is this lame?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a question before I can vote. =) Who is invited to your HI wedding? Will any of those people be invited to these parties?
Posted by melissa82[/QUOTE]
Oh, good question.  Short answer - most of them, most of whom won't come to the wedding.<div>
</div><div>Long answer is that we haven't sent invitations, and haven't finalized our guest list for the wedding, but we're probably inviting all of my aunts/uncles and cousins (who'd then also be invited to either my mom's or dad's thing), but most of them can't come.  All of the people who'd go to my mom's thing would be invited to the wedding, but because my dad's family is bigger and he'd like to invite to his party some of his cousins and their families, not everyone invited to his party would also be invited to the wedding.</div>

Tygirljojo

Jenn does make a point about how it could seem to others with you having an AHR after a destination wedding.  Although, I've attended a casual AHR which was nice - got to see pics of the wedding, just a party to congratulate them, no gifts for them (at least that's what they requested) and there was cake.  Nothing wrong with cake!  

kducharme

Shoot! I voted wrong! I thought you were asking if you should do so I voted YES! But that was the don't do it! SHOOT!!  DO IT!!!   The more parties the better!!!

MrsH8172010

Oh no I voted yes dont do it but I thought it said yes do it whoops!!

I say do it!

The fact that your having a destination wedding makes it perfectly okay! I would want to if I was doing a destination wedding!!!

Plus I think the fact that you are doing it so different people can come and celebrate with you makes it even better and its more casual!

jennlin

tygirl~ it's not that the AHR itself is gift grabby (it's definitely not after a destination wedding), but i think the 2nd one may be suspicious...

carrieoz_76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_this-lame?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:fb8e7620-87cb-4bf6-a848-2e3d36d36f28Post:d0530cef-ae5d-4e98-9ffb-dffdcdc5e34c">Re: Is this lame?</a>:
[QUOTE]tygirl~ it's not that the AHR itself is gift grabby (it's definitely not after a destination wedding), but i think the 2nd one may be suspicious...
Posted by jennlin[/QUOTE]
I totally get you on this.  I'm hoping that by not overlapping invitees, it wouldn't seem too bad.  And if we do any of this, we wouldn't call either a reception (which I think tends to led itself to thinking you need to bring a present), but instead one would be a pool party and the other a picnic or barbecue or whatever.<div>
</div><div>Meanwhile, my dad thinks this is all a great idea - this way he doesn't have to hang with any of his ex's extended family like he would have at a local wedding.  So, at least there's that.</div>