I crashed my bike on campus, because I lost a game of sidewalk chicken with a campus squirrel. There were curbed flower beds on either side of the walk, and I do not have the internal fortitude to make roadkill out of adorable woodland creatures with my bare tire. The squirrel apparently had nerves of steel. I ripped my favorite slacks, took a handlebar to the crotch, and pulled my groin. The squirrel stuck around to make sure I was OK/check for treats/potentially infect me with rabies.
I had an audience; my department head and the class that he had just let out, several of whom are also students of mine. The department head also rides his bike to work. He never has this problem.
Dear Rain,
Not Today.
Sincerely, My Parade