Guest list dilemma

Sharingourlove

My FI has not wanted to know numbers for the guest list other than how many invitations we are sending which is 145.  For some reason it didn't dawn on him that the number of possible attendees was higher than that, and he's now freaking out over the possibility of a full church (250)! 

I explained to him that I can already figure about 70-75 people who won't be attending but who should be invited but he's still freaking out since it's not the number he has in his head.

Now he wants to not invite some of them and just send them announcements instead.  It does make sense for the ones I know won't make it, but I think sending them invitations is much nicer - especially as they all received the STD!

Your thoughts?

zoiesmurf

I think etiquette-wise if you sent them an STD, then you need to send them an actual invite... :-/

sofiabrian

Yikes!! Personally, if guests received at STD, they should get an invitation. Even if you know they won't make it, they still get an invite. 

As for an alternative, I'm not too sure. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Sharingourlove

I agree that they should get an invite - I just need to convince my FI that they do! 

sofiabrian

Well, what sort of dinner are you having? Rather than seated plates you could do heavy hors d'oeuvres, and maybe a signature drink over a full bar.

It's a way to save $$ on the number of guest attending. Your FI might be open to hearing those ideas.

Sharingourlove

Actually it's just a punch and cake reception, no meal though we will have a few snacks since we are doing some pictures after the ceremony.

I think what hit him was $250 for the cake when we can get a couple Costco cakes for less - and less people mean less $$ spent on cake.  Of course he saw nothing with spending almost $100 to get bubble guns!  LOL

zoiesmurf

I love men's priorities! hehehe

Frogger5

You might be able to cut the numbers a little, if you were originally counting singles with a guest in your 250 count, by not including the "+ guest" on the actual invitations (as long as you didn't already include it on the STD). I don't really think there's any way to not send an invite after sending STDs, sorry!

Not to be at all snotty, either (and I'm not exactly clear about the price of the cakes), but if you meant that your FI didn't want to spend as much as $250 for cake for up to 250 guests . . . well, I don't really know what to say to that! $1/slice is really inexpensive, and even if you cut the number of guests attending in half from the max estimate, the difference would still only be $125. Seems not worth it to potentially confuse and hurt some of the people by not inviting them now. Maybe just remind him how much you aren't spending by not having a full dinner ?