Flip it (re: Odd Comment)

**O-Face**

So do men ever feel that they need to do certain things to keep women around?

And I'm not talking about showering and using deodorant.

hmonkey

dh doesn't, but i dated a guywho was all "you wouldn't have broken up with me if i was a korean dr" (he was a white dude who worked in it). 

okay, good luck changing into that.

MinM

Was this the spiral scribe, hmo?

hmonkey

excellent guess, min!  and yes it was.

**O-Face**

get out of my miiiiiinnd Min.

ReturnOfKuus

I doubt it.  I dated one guy who didn't even think he should have to shower regularly, but thought that I should of course wear stripper heels.

MinM

H cooks. That is all he needs to do to keep women around.

baconsmom

I just had a discussion with H about this. Here's what we came up with:

The original idea - that a woman has to "keep" a man - is based on the idea that men are always on the lookout for something better, something [insert adjective here]-ier. It's a sexist notion, not only because it places the burdens of tending a relationship solely on the shoulders of the woman, but because it assumes that men aren't actual human beings with human feelings. 

But, no, H says there's not really that sort of idea floating around that men have to "catch" or "keep" a woman. He was also lucky enough never to have heard the original.

ReturnOfKuus

It always has that underlying shade of "make sure you keep that meal ticket around", doesn't it?  I wonder if men are told that they have to make X amount of money to keep a woman?

baconsmom

I asked if H felt that compulsion, even just from himself, because he is, after all, the provider in our family. But he said no, that's more something he feels for his own self-image. Like, if he can't take care of himself, or of us, he's not worried I'll bolt, but he'll feel like he's a failure at life. 

DG1

I think the parallel might be that men feel over-obligated to be good providers.  Feeling emasculated if the wife makes more money and all that.

I'm glad H isn't this way.  He likes having a sugar mama.