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upset to the tenth power

My FMIL is going through some medical problems. My Fh has been staying with her at the hospital the past couple of days. My mother loves fresh flowers; their vivid and smell good. So my mom always told me to give her flowers while shes here on earth and she can enjoy them.i give my mother flowers just because its Tuesday..lol.. So I thought it would be nice to take my FMIl some fresh flowers to her hospital room. I walked in gave her a kiss on the cheek, I visited for @20 minutes before the doctor came in. I excused myself since I felt that would be a private disscussion among the family. My FMIL treated me no diff than any other time, but his sisters were like perranias with wedding questions. picking at this and that. Well my FMIl asked my if I had my FH grooms cake. I told her yes..its going to be a xbox 360 cake.I wanted it to be s surprise. She said she wanted to pick his cake. I told her she could..that he could have both cakes..His family was like 2 cakes?? Why not?? If I wanted 1o cakes..thats what we would have at OUR wedding...Im not an unreasonable person and definitely dont want to have his mother feel left out. Thought it was a nice to meet in the middle..his sister told me "well does he have an opinion in this wedding?" My feeling are so hurt right now. My FH told me he only cared about what we chose for the registgry and he wanted to chose his tux...thats it..The rest of the stuff..he says its whatever I want..
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Re: upset to the tenth power

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    I didnt mean to step on his familes toes, or intrude. Just thought it would be nice..I was the only one to bring flowers..her room was bear...something nice to look at
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    She wanted to pick his groom's cake?  And they said you're controlling all the details!

    It sounds like, as much as they need something nice to look at, they need something to take their minds off of FMIL being sick.  Combine that with ordinary wedding emotions, where everyone has an opinion, and everyone has a question, and the situation can be an emotional landmine.  I can see where you'd be as upset, but there's a good chance it wasn't meant as offensive as it sounded.  (I know my mom has said equally hurtful things to me, while trying to help; I bet most of the girls here could share similar quotes.)

    Since they're interested, and if you're up for it, you might consider sharing some detail that isn't important to you or your FI - centerpieces, or the extra cake you mentioned, or a table with other desserts, or favors, or a playlist for the cocktail hour music - and playing around with ideas.  The other alternative is cutting them out of wedding discussions; just say "it's been taken care of" and change the subject.
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    Did I miss why the flower part of this was important to the story?

    Keep your groom's cake and either let them have a second or let them pick the one for the rehearsal.  I'll add that your future in-laws are probably not exactly focused on flowers and groom's cakes.  They probably aren't putting nearly as much thought into this as you are.  Their mother just went through or is going through some medical issues.  I'm going to bet that they have more important things to worry about.

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_upset-tenth-power?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b2346b9c-ebf6-4093-9046-e30bc11ce491Post:96ba0a8c-3b2f-4fd8-85fd-7c4e87cb38eb">Re: upset to the tenth power</a>:
    [QUOTE]Did I miss <strong>why the flower part of this was important to the story</strong>? Keep your groom's cake and either let them have a second or let them pick the one for the rehearsal.  I'll add that your future in-laws are probably not exactly focused on flowers and groom's cakes.  They probably aren't putting nearly as much thought into this as you are.  Their mother just went through or is going through some medical issues.  I'm going to bet that they have more important things to worry about.
    Posted by 6fsn[/QUOTE]

    I think OP was just trying to explain that she went there just to bring her flowers and wish her a speedy recovery.
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    I talked it over with my FH, and he said thats just how his family is..and we already disccused the important aspect that he wanted..so bascially blow it off..although I will be taking the advice of Raptor and letting them know that everything is going well and changing the subject.
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