things

MinM

- I went to see Dr. Hott Sexxx yesterday:
1) I told him about being insulin resistant. He just shook his head in disbelief.
2) I told him about not being able to have kids - he actually worked for the doctor we were seeing. He said that yes, he is the best doctor in the state to see for such things. He asked if I wanted to go back on BCP. I said no, there is no reason to. He said with all sincerity, "With your luck, you'll get pregnant and it will kill you."
3) My BP is way up. My systolic value was up 35 points. Diastolic was up only 10. I figure that is why I was feeling so weird...but I don't know.


- I spoke to my mom:
1) Whenever I talk to her, all she does is complain (not always, but most times, especially if she is feeling badly). A lot of what she complains about is my grandfather and how when he is trying to help, he just stresses her out. She tells him what she needs help with (like getting stamps), but instead he brings over flowers and cards (which she complains about having to take out when she is weak, etc). H says I am her sounding board and the only person she can talk to about such things, but it is hard because I want to fix things for her. But whenever I make a suggestion, she shoots it down. Like, she needs a new mailbox so I offered to get her one when I am there. Then she was all like, "Oh no, then I'll have to ask someone to install it and I don't want to have to keep asking people for help." Ef that - I'll pay a handyman to do it.
2) She started crying and saying how hard this is. She is only on her third round of chemo. I am really scared about her attitude. It is not the one she needs to have to kick this. She is sick of laying around, but that is what she needs to do right now. Nothing I suggest lands well with her.
3) She want someone there with her. I tell her Littlest Sister is coming for MD. But mom just says, "but then she is leaving in a few days." Then I say, we'll then I am coming out. We are doing our best but that doesn't seem to be enough. Middle Sis needs to step up, but she can't even handle her own life. I asked Middle Sis how her job was going and she said it was slow and that she hopes her boss lets her go. ::sigh::

-H and I got into a fight:
1) It has been ages since we had an arguement.
2) It is my fault.
3) I appologized.

nicoleg1982

::pets your hair::  It will get better, Min.

MinM

Nico - I am going to get  her stamps today at lunch and I'm going to start looking up local handymen. I know it's futile; she'll just find more stuff to complain about, but I have to do something. My grandfather needs to go to the tailor. All his clothes are too big, he won't buy more and it irritated my mom. I called him and he said he would six weeks ago. I guess I'll take him when I am there in a couple of weeks.

hmonkey

:: pats back ::

there, there.

:: pulls candy from behind ear ::

what's that?  want a sweet?

**O-Face**

::slides down some Ketel One::

What?  It's 5 o'clock somewhere.

Also, it sounds like she's venting and doesn't want solutions, she just wants to vent.  It sucks regardless....you want to shout into the phone "BUCK UP!".

zsazsa-stl

Eeek @ the blood pressure.  I would think Dr. Hot Sexxx was part of the cause, but is he putting you on medication for that, too?

Sick people are not always nice people.  I hope your mom comes around and realizes that this is very difficult for you and your sisters, too.

MinM

Yeah, OFace. I need to learn to listen and not try to solve the problems. It just sucks when she b1tches about the same thing over and over and over. For YEARS she has been complaining about grandpa and my sister.

She also says everyone is being selfish and not thinking about her. I know that is not true.

MinM

zsa - I am already on a beta blocker, as a migraine preventative. I asked him since I am not getting migraines anymore if I should titrate off of it. He said to wait until some of this stress goes away. He gave me a refill on my xanax.

I took an extra dose of the beta blocker this AM because I was still feeling wonky. 

DG1

Has anyone considered an antidepressant for Mom?  Obviously, I don't know anything about how that might interact with the chemo, but depressed is depressed, even if she does have a pretty good reason for it. 

I know when I got my first batch of antidepressants, I was shocked to realize that I was suddenly OK/happy, even though all of the bad stuff in my life was unchanged.


And yeah, we're sending internet hugs.

MinM

I am 100% sure my mom would refuse SSRI's. She hates most meds. She has spoken negatively about people on anti-depressants, saying the meds make them worse. No, she isn't a doctor and no, I don't agree with her opion (I have seen many people improve their quality of life with SSRIs), but it is her opinion.

mrsconn23

::hugs:: Min.

Just know that even if it does go unacknowledged, you are being an awesome daughter to your mom.  And a good granddaughter too.  

::more hugs::

6fsn

I know I'm late, but big fat hugs.

Is your mom talking to anyone besides you?  A support group or psychiatrist?

For that matter, you are going throu a lot and could use some support too.  Same goes for your sisters.