How to Uninvite

slayaw

My fiance and I just had a 'jack and jill' wine tour and the beginning was fantastic.  About halfway through one couple, my close friend and her new boyfriend started arguing.  He berated her up one side and down the other using every swear word known to man in front of EVERYONE!  He is literally crazy!  We were considering leaving him at one of the stops but he never got off the limo.  He basically ruined the rest of the day and made it very awkward for everyone on the trip.  My question is, how do I tell her he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to my wedding anymore?  I can't imagine worrying about her crying in some corner again as he berates her in public and I care far too much to stand by and watch.  Which is why my day was somewhat ruined this past weekend, I stuck by her side the rest of the wine tour.  How do I word it?  If I use my words now, psycho and crazy are all that come out.  Thanks for any help.  26 days to go!

baconsmom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_wedding-woes_uninvite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:47Discussion:b4d063da-62ab-4d78-8c74-c70a23a33656Post:efd15822-267d-413a-bad1-1ce9bc65c57c">How to Uninvite</a>:
[QUOTE]My fiance and I just had a 'jack and jill' wine tour and the beginning was fantastic.  About halfway through one couple, my close friend and her new boyfriend started arguing.  He berated her up one side and down the other using every swear word known to man in front of EVERYONE!  He is literally crazy!  We were considering leaving him at one of the stops but he never got off the limo.  He basically ruined the rest of the day and made it very awkward for everyone on the trip.  My question is, how do I tell her he is not, under any circumstances, allowed to my wedding anymore?  I can't imagine worrying about her crying in some corner again as he berates her in public and I care far too much to stand by and watch.  Which is why my day was somewhat ruined this past weekend, I stuck by her side the rest of the wine tour.  How do I word it?  If I use my words now, psycho and crazy are all that come out.  Thanks for any help.  26 days to go!
Posted by slayaw[/QUOTE]

<div>It's not your place to get in the middle of their relationship. You can hope he doesn't come; you can be supportive if she comes to you for advice; but you can't uninvite him or tell her that he's not allowed near you.</div><div>
</div><div>Was he a jerk? Sure. But this isn't your business, even if he made you a bystander to his personal train wreck. You leave the invitation as it stands and you assume that you'll be too busy getting married to worry about one guest's behavior. </div>

*Barbie*

i would be more worried about my friend in an abusive relationship rather than her jagoff b/f ruining my *big day*. You CAN let your friend know you are worried about how her boyfriend is treating her. You CAN hope that she dumps him and this is a non-issue. You CANNOT uninvite him from your wedding unless you also want to lose your friend in the process.

~~Busy.~~

WTF?  I'm going to go against the crowd and say that you tell her that if he can't behave he can't come to the wedding.  That will lead into the conversation about her dating a whinny 12 year old.  If you are good friends she should be able to handle an honest conversation about your concerns.

slayaw

Well, that was how I spent the second half of my wine tour.  Voicing my concerns about her being in an abusive relationship.  I'm not a completely shallow friend, but I am worried about other guests (we're only having 65) mainly my nephews and nieces who are under the age of five hearing him get mad and using the "F" word 60 times and 60 seconds.  So all-in-all this concern is less about me and more about me wanting my guests to enjoy their time.... which they didn't on the wine tour all cooped up with this crazy man yelling at his girlfriend for two hours.  I simply called her and asked her to try and difuse the situation outside away from the ears of children and my grandparents if this is to happen at the wedding.